He was once the best prospect in the deal that sent Pedro Martinez from the Expos to the Red Sox. Now he has become a punchline in Yankee folklore. Carl Pavano will undergo Tommy John surgery, an operation that will most likely signify the end of his Yankee career. Pavano will go down in the annals of history as the worst Yankee free agent pickup to date, and probably one of the biggest busts since Andy Messersmith decided to exercise his employment rights. His failures must make Met fans look fondly upon the likes of Vince Coleman, Bobby Bonilla, and Kaz Matsui. At least Alyssa Milano had the foresight to dump this loser to start dating somewhat less fragile Dodgers starter Brad Penny.
But in actuality being Carl Pavano isn't so bad. First of all he plays baseball for a living, which is awesome. Secondly, he is a starting pitcher, which is probably the best gig in baseball (more stress, but generally more job security than being a utility man or long reliever) . Third, he parlayed a career year in 2004 into a $39.95M/4 yr contract. During that time span he has started 19 games. So according to my math, he has made a little over $2M per start. Those are Clemensian type numbers. Pavano has done almost the absolute minimum, but thanks to his guaranteed contract he has netted all the money he signed for. I would would love to show up to work 25% of the time and still get paid my full salary. I guess rehab is not supposed to be that much fun, but it's not like he is spend that time in hell holes like Staten Island or Northern New Jersey. Instead, he gets to hang around the Tampa complex and run in a swimming pool or stand on a balance ball, both of which I'd rather be doing than researching case law on Westlaw. Man, I would trade lives with him in second.