Monday, May 21, 2007

Greg Ostertag Body Spray, Prepare Your Disclaimer Now

Clinton Portis, best known for dressing as a pimp and a clown, has chosen an odd issue to make his first high profile political statement about. Global warming? Who cares? Stem cell research? Genocide in Darfur? Dar-what? No, this dummy is taking a pro-dog fighting stance. On Michael Vick's most recent legal troubles, Portis said "I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, it's his dog. If that's what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business."
Ironically, friends of Massa Portis in 1850, may well have used a similar defense to justify the abuse of Clinton's ancestors. His next goofy costume should be a Snausage suit, that he is forced to wear in a room of starving pit bulls.

On a unrelated note on animal-based sports, can we knock it off with the horse racing already? I understand that the sport basically exists to facilitate a day of boozing and gambling. Ordinarilly I'd be all for something like that. In fact, I attended the Belmont Stakes a few years ago, for this very reason. However, I will never support the sport again. After seeing Barbaro kick up a storm and still get forced into the gate, then suffer a fatal injury at last year's Preakness, I was forced to face the fact the horse racing is another form of animal cruelty. Besides, it seems rather arbitrary to get excited about who the fastest 3 year old horse is, in a 1.25 to 1.5 mile race. Why don't we care which 5 year old koala can climb a 80 foot tree the fastest? Isn't it odd that three times a year, we get worked up about horse races, when we can only get it up once every four years to see who is the world's fastest man?

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