Friday, June 22, 2007
Exploring Alternative Employment
With nothing to do on a Friday afternoon but waste taxpayer dollars-I'd thought I'd throw this out there: given the tepid pool of dog crap that is the WWE these days, and given the fact Chris Henry and Pac Man Jones dont have a whole hell of a lot to do besides getting to court on time-would anyone on this planet be opposed a Pac Man/Henry WWE tag team? Not since HBK and slightly effeminate Mary Jannety pranced around the ring would a tag team be able to bring such electicity to an arena. Chris and Pac Man, if you are reading this here a few helpful hints to get over quickly:
1. Theme Music: this is too easy-anything other than Little Wayne's "Make it Rain" would be inappropriate (honorable mention to Chamillionare's "Riding Dirty" and the Ying Yang Twins "whisper song").
2. Manager: I would propose not one manager, but a posse of 15 strippers, thugs, and cokeheads who would randomly spray the crowd with paintballs as they make their way to the ring.
3. Finishing move: The stomp and chomp- Henry repeatedly stomps a previously incapacciated opponent to near unconsciouness when Pac Man would then perform a nasty bite on the ankle that would not stop until the opponent submits (if performed properly it will make the figure 4 look like a Swedish leg massage).
4. Feuds: the late, great, Big Boss Man would be the natural choice, but given his unavailability I think the Hardy Boys would be a suitable replacement.
Please consider this article as simply a way to get the ball rolling guys, ill leave the rest to you and your probation officers.