Friday, June 29, 2007

NBA Draft Live Blog

10:38: Thus ends the first round and our live blog. I hope all five of you really enjoyed it.

10:37: The 76'ers Petteri Koponen out of Finland. I heard he's a great Finnisher around the rim.

10:32: Someone needs to let Dick Vitale know that buttoning the top button on a polo makes him look like a nerd. I think that's Jimmy Valvano's job...oh wait. Sorry, too soon?

10:31: The Suns select Alando Tucker. He should fit in nicely as he is a good athlete and a good spot up shooter and playing with Steve Nash he'll be that much better.

10:30: The general consensus is that we would all love to see Josh McRoberts go in the second round. Douche.

10:29: I can't wait to get out of this first round. If this were the NFL draft however, we'd be on pick 10 or so (because of the inevitable trade).

10:25: The Spurs take Tiago Splitter, so he'll probably be good.

10:24: By the way, Alando Tucker, who does everything Afflalo does, but better, is still on the board.

10:19: The Detroit Pistons pick Aaron Afflalo. This will be a hard act to Afflalo for whomever is picking next. The androgynous, raceless fun police quickly ushers Afflalo on stage because the last thing you want to see is someone who was just assured a 3-yr NBA contract enjoy themselves. Also, according to ESPN Afflalo must improve "Athleticism" so Aaron better find a good genetic engineer. Tremont said that its as if he was hired by NASA with the human resources department noting, "must improve: intelligence."

10:12: The Houston Rockets select former Saints QB Aaron Brooks.

10:10: Though the concept is cool, I'm starting to get a little tired of these Agent Zero-Durant commercials

10:09: A call from Yao Ming is coming up. This should be some great television.

10:06: The Utah Jazz select Morris Almond. Joy. They couldn't find a white guy to pick so they drafted the most non-threatening African-American player left on the board.

9:59: Blazers select Rudy Fernandez: I am warming to the Spanish players. They always contribute.

9:57: Jerry Colangelo owes his bookie again and is selling his first round pick.

9:53: The Knicks select Wilson Chandler. Knick fan Mookie thinks he is "just a long athletic dude without much skill". I think he has a nerd's name and will be a failure. Why draft another forward forward, when you already have Curry, Randolph, Lee, and Balkman in your front court?

9:48: The Bobcats chose Jared Dudley of BC. Apparently former Senator Jesse Helms was ineligible to be drafted and they couldn't find anybody else from North Carolina to pick. Dudley looks rather gay in his picture.

9:44: A toupee/combover debate rages over Rod Thorn's head. Not at all flattering.

9:40: Nashty quips "Do you think it's too late for Isiah to get Eddy Curry and Zack Randolph on "Shaq's Big Challenge"?

9:37 Mitch Kupchak is rapidly turning into John Malkovich. Jim Gray has a delightful auburn tinge to his hair.

9:35: The Heat select Jason Smith. Looks like a ten day contract waiting to happen.

9:30: The Lakers select Jarvis Crittenton. We've got nothing.

9:25 From Nashty: Fran just said Bellinelli was a combination of Vinny Del Negro and Brent Barry. I'm guessing Golden St. might have wanted that scouting report before they made the pick

9:23: The Warriors take Marco Belinelli, rocking the black on black ensemble. He responds with a loud "Mama Mia!" That first round contract will buy his village a years supply of meatballs.

9:16: The Nets take Sean Williams. Tremont, a Nets fan (yes they do exist), is very happy with the pick. He would have been a lottery pick if he weren't a pothead. Him and Marcus Williams are going to have fun hanging out with one another.

9:15: The Knicks pick up Zach Randolph, Fred Jones, and Dan Dickau for Channing Frye and Steve Francis. WOW. Major deal. Randolph is an awesome low post player and the Blazers' clear room for Oden and get Francis's expiring contract. Tremont thinks it's a great deal for both teams. All of SYHD agree that this was a good move for the Knicks. They are now a very interesting team.

9:14: Nick Young speaks like he has Fragile X syndrome.

9:12: The Washington Wizards select Nick Young who is wearing an outfit the SYHD war room agrees is hideous.

9:08: From Nashty: Stuckey's take on his alma mater "I didnt qualify out of high school, so Eastern Washington was the school I had to go to"-I dont think this will be on their admissions flyers anytime soon

9:05: The Detroit Pistons pick Rodney Stuckey. Bobby Snyder is big fan of his suit. Tremont thinks that it's a suit R. Kelly would wear. Jay Bilas just said that Stuckey is as athletic as "all get out." He is now more hip hop than Yi.

9:01: Al Thornton- Strength: Pronounced lisp. Most likely to get caught with John Amechi.

8:59: The LA Clippers select Al Thornton- most likely to be arrested for dog fighting (he owns multiple putbulls). He immediately becomes one of the oldest players in the NBA. Jay Bilas just uttered the phrase "second jumpability" I'm about to end this blog.

8:56: Julian Wright- Strength: Mumbling

8:55: Stuart Scott still sucks.

8:52: With the 13th pick in the draft the Hornets select Julian Wright. Tremont was hoping that he was going to slip to the Nets. Wow, Dick Vitale even shills for ESPN while on ESPN (he's wearing an ESPN embroidered polo)

8:46: The 76'ers take Thaddeus Young and Tirico makes an awful pun that I don't feel like repeating.

8:43: Sal Paolantonio must have done something to piss someone at ESPN off big because he is always in Philadelphia. That's cruel and unusual punishment in some jurisdictions.

8:42: From Dakota: Espn should refund anyone who purchases insider. It has 1,000 Kg/kobe trade rumors and the only fucking trade is the C's trading their pick. Unbelievable.

8:40: From the ESPN analysis Acie Law must improve ball handling. Just want you want from a point guard. It's like drafting a SG who must improve shooting.

8:38: The Atlanta Hawks select Acie Law IV. The Hawks get a C for their draft. Not really, I just wanted to make that pun.

8:35: Nashty says about Hawes, "A slower version of Brad Miller-nice pick-he would have even been the best player on some of Reggie Theus' Deering high teams."

8:32: The Sacramento Kings select Spener Hawes. Best case scenario- Rich man's Chris Kaman.

8:30: The room unanimously agrees that the world would be a better place if John Mellencamp was dead.

8:29: Tremont thinks that white people should be able to take credit for Joakim Noah as he is three quarters white.

8:26: The Bulls via the Knicks select Joakim Noah. Between him, Ben Wallace, and Ty Thomas their front court is going to be impossible to stop on the offensive end. I hope Hinrich, Gordon, and Deng are ready to score every point next year. This is the sharpest suit I've ever seen. Stuart Scott is a dork.

8:25: From Nashty: is it just me or is Stephen A. Smith's whole persona just an impersonation of Chris Rock doing Nat X

8:22: From Johnny Dakota: I think that the Magic should start only drafting UF players like the Bobcats are doing with UNC. Just trade D-Howard and build around Brewer, Noah and Andrew DeClerq

8:21: Supposedly Wright runs the floor like a deer, to which Fat Dizzle responds, "I wonder if that deer is also lazy and overrated."

8:18: The Bobcats select Jared Jeffries, errr I mean Brandon Wright

8:15: Corey Brewer- Weakness: Annunciation

8:14: Noah's mom is showing a large amount of cleavage

8:11: Minnesota Timberwolves select Corey Brewer. Great pick. Great Suit. Bobby Synder thinks it's the best suit thus far. Also, who is that androgynous, raceless, genderless entity escorting the players on to the stage?

8:08: Downright Nashty said, "I can't understand this guys [Stuart Scott] English, and the Chinese guy's hard to understand too."

8:07: Yi is really eloquent. He has major endorsement deal written all over him. He sounds like Dikembe Mutumbo swallowed Andre the Giant.

8:03: The Bucks pick Yi Jianlian. Tremont feels bad for this guy as he will be "the only Chinaman in Milwaukee." Wow Fran Fraschilla just said that Yi "is hip hop, he's 50 cent." which is bullshit because Yi has only been shot twice. Seriously, there really doesn't seem to be anything remotely hip hop about this guy. Somewhere "Always Hip Hip" Derek Bell is laughing in his houseboat. Let's remember that Fraschilla got fired for pulling down his pants, point at his ass, and telling his team that that is what they are playing like.

8:02: Mookie wonders if anyone is actually reading this. There is no link from Shanoff tonight

8:01: Nashty on the Celtics trade, "Bill Simmons just chucked his latte at Dooze and woke up the Sports Girl in the process."

8:00: Quick shot of the Yi's family. Boy they are ugly.

7:59: Who is more mentally retarded Danny Ainge or Chris Benoit's son?

7:57: The Boston Celtics select Jeff Green (not the former UF Law student) and will immediately ship him to the Sonics where he will be a nice compliment to Durant. Green doesn't need the ball to be an effective player.

7:56: Mike Tirico is slowly morphing into Michael Wilbon

7:56: Luckiest man in America right now? Mike Conely Sr. who is the agent for both Conley Jr. and Oden

7:52: The Memphis Grizzlies select Michael Conley Jr. This does not bode well for last year's first rounder Kyle Lowery. Tremont hates Conley's tie. Our friend Boddy Snyder says that these guys really need to tighten their ties.

7:51: Fat Dizzle just broke the story that Oden's first endorsement deal is with Centrum Silver

7:49: Downright Nashty says "wow did you see Noah?" Fat Dizzle responds, "He's going to be the first woman chosen in the NBA draft."

7:47: The Atlanta Hawks select Al Horford. Great pick, but the shot of Joakim Noah in a seersucker suit with bow tie is classic. Might be the best draft outfit of all time. And Horford is the third straight sensible suit to hit the podium. Is this a David Stern directive?

7:43: Chad Forde is reporting that Durant's mom repped 185 10 times the other day

7:42: Another blockbuster...The Supersonics select Kevin Durant. The consensus in the room is that Durant's suit is a lot nicer than Oden's.

7:41: Downright Nashty comments that the only losing team Oden's ever been on was in 'Nam.

7:40: Stuart Scott sucks

7:38: Prob makes more sense to take Durant based on the Blazers personnel, but they don't want to be known as the team that passed on Oden

7:35: With the 1st pick of the draft the Trailblazers select Julian's Greg Oden. Tremont declares that Oden's suit is sensible, but his tie is hideous. With that contract he's getting he can afford a shopping spree at Brooks Brothers

7:34: Welcome to the SYHD NBA Draft Live Blog. The Trailblazers are on the clock. This is suspenseful.

1 comment:

jimer said...

Great live blog. I followed by Blackberry. Wished I could have been there.