Monday, September 17, 2007

Dane Cook-ing Up Trouble with the Sports Guy


This morning, ESPN decided to let Dane Cook moderate their early-morning chat, which is usually filled with uninformed sports talk and pop-tart jokes. Cook used this unique platform (being involved with people who were less funny than himself) to throw a few jabs at Bill Simmons. Previously, Simmons has commented on Dane Cook being an unfunny dweeb and wearing a Yankee hat despite hailing from Boston.

Cook hit back at the Sports Guy with both a defense of his Red Sox loyalty (he is a die-hard fan but sucks at stats) and his popularity. Here is the transcript of the incident:

Matt (Philly): How do you feel about Bill Simmons thinking you suck?

Dane Cook: (10:00 AM ET ) Who's Bill Simmons?

Clinton (Indianapolis): Dane, what was it like working on something as tense as Mr. Brooks? Would you like to play another role like that soon?

Dane Cook: (10:04 AM ET ) It was nice to do something outside of my wheelhouse. Mr. Brooks was a blast to play, such a deviant, despicable guy. It was almost like being Bill Simmons for a day...Once again, who the hell is Bill Simmons?
.
Robert (Raleigh NC) : Some people say you aren't funny at all. Others say you are genius. Why the varried opinion?

Dane Cook: Everyone has an opinion on what is funny and what sucks. Just ask Bill Simmons, because he knows exactly who is funny, and who is not. After all, he is Bill Simmons.
.
(Another warm welcome to Big Lead and Deadspin readers. If you have some time to kill check out the rest of the blog here. It'll almost be worth your time.

73 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dane Cook is the best. I can't wait for Good Luck Chuck!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh and I love the way he makes sounds and funny faces instead of delivering punchlines.

Flax said...

So, he repeats something over and over, even though it wasn't funny the first time? Yeah, sounds about right.

Anonymous said...

He's in dane-ial.

Pun of the day, what?

c.p.ervin said...

You know how things happen and it's, like, funny to talk about them? Like when you're talking with your friend, right, and then... BAM he says something really obvious and you're all... "Dude. I know." Yeah, isn't that a thing that happens? I know, right? I can't believe it either. I'm gonna, like, give you a superfinger because you guys are all so awesome! You can tell it's better than a middle finger because it has two fingers in it!

c.p.ervin said...

You know how things happen and it's, like, funny to talk about them? Like when you're talking with your friend, right, and then... BAM he says something really obvious and you're all... "Dude. I know." Yeah, isn't that a thing that happens? I know, right? I can't believe it either. I'm gonna, like, give you a superfinger because you guys are all so awesome! You can tell it's better than a middle finger because it has two fingers in it!

Anonymous said...

Fuck yeah! You got linked from deadspin.

Anonymous said...

When is someone going to step in and do something about this rash of douche on douche crime? They're tearing themselves apart!

Brown said...

Two people from Boston arguing over which one sucks more?

Take it easy boys. You're both winners.

Drew Sarver said...

I'm not Bill Simmons fan, but Dane Cook is as funny as a tumor.

Anonymous said...

Tumors are hiLARIOUS!
Especially when someone else gets them. HA HA DEATH You missed me again.

J Money said...

Dane is the guy I'm stuck behind in line at the gas station/minimart every time I'm in New England... obnoxious, slow, thinks he's hilarious, buying scratch-off lotto tickets at his leisure... and just itching for someone to get impatient so he can start a fight.

And Bill is the nerd with him giggling at the whole thing.

I hate Boston.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I believe Louis CK said "Who's Bill Simmons" first, and then Dane Cook stole it.

Drew Sarver said...

LOL..excellent J Money!

Anonymous said...

Dane Cook is about as funny as cancer

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