The A-Rod Apologete Vol. II (Profile of the A-Rod Hater)

In Vol. II of The A-Rod Apologete, I will create a profile of the A-Rod hating Yankees fan. Who are these people and why do they detest him so?

The A-Rod hater is a crushing failure in life. Since he is so unsuccessful in his own life, he relies on Yankees' achievements to provide him with a sense of fulfillment. The Yankees have set the bar so high that anything short of a World Series Championship is unsatisfactory. When they do not win championships, the A-Rod Hater is unable to ever experience even a sense of vicarious accomplishment in his life. Rather than confront the inadequacies in his own life, he looks for a scapegoat. Enter A-Rod.

So we have established that the A-Rod Hater is searching for a scapegoat. But why must it be Rodriguez in particular? Some would argue that his postseason failures have been a microcosm of the Yankees recent postseason play. I'll admit that this is a factor. However, there is something far deeper going on. I believe Rodriguez is a constant reminder of the A-Rod Hater's own insignificance. He is a world-class athlete, is as handsome as the day is long, and seems to be a fairly intelligent guy. In sum, he is nearly perfect male specimen. (I swear that I'm straight).

While the A-Rod Hater languished on the bench of his JV baseball team, his neighbor (the A-Rod type) who was a year younger than him was a 3-sport superstar on the varsity level. Rodriguez represents the guy, that was boning the babe, that the A-Rod Hater was secretly, madly in love with throughout high school. The "4" that the A-Rod Hater eventually decided to settle for, closed her eyes and thought of a Rodriguez-type, as he awkwardly diddled about in her unkempt pubis. Since his life has not improved much from those tortured adolescent years, those old frustrations still manifest themselves in A-Rod hatred to this day.

Before you label me a snob, let me make one point clear. I know these failures. I am these failures. The only difference between the A-Rod Hater and me is that I have the ability to look myself in the mirror and place the responsibility for my lot in life on whom it belongs; My parents.

Expect Part III of The A-Rod Apologete to be posted some time this weekend. It will feature statistical analysis that will debunk the myth that A-Rod is not a good clutch/postseason hitter. Then I will try to rehabilitate my faltering reputation as a heterosexual, by writing an article that doesn't involve defending the honor of a dashing, athletic, multi-millionaire.