Nothing like a little Maury to start your day off right. I highly recommend a perusal of the Maury Wikipedia entry for a comedy respite from your undoubtedly busy morning. The link is here. Pay special attention to the explanation of how positive most would be fathers on Maury are that the seemingly bastard child is not theirs. There is an instance of a man being 1 million percent sure that the kid is not his. That is confidence.
*Special thanks to SYHD reader Steve for the heads up on the Wikipedia page*