Friday, April 20, 2007

Side Salad's Daily Most Underrated Award Goes To...

The Most Underrated "Spank Bank Material" is..... the music video Crazy by Aerosmith. Think about it...this video features both Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler in their respective primes- before Liv Tyler had that nauseating "pillow talk" conversation with Ben Affleck in Armageddon and way before Alicia Silverstone began to look like this.

Besides featuring two sex icons at the top of their game, the video has a little bit of everything in it. It starts off with both girls wearing one of the most underrated Halloween costumes of all-time, the school girl outfits (check that out, you get two underrated topics in one article) (Editors Note: The catholic school girl outfit is neither underrated nor overrated. Every Halloween there are many girls wearing this costume looking hot and just about every straight guy loves it. It therefore gets the proper respect) . The video then takes us to a gas station, where Liv Tyler seductively pumps gas followed by both girls show some skin in the photo booth with a thinly veiled lesbian vibe. Classic! As if this was not enough to call it a night, for you "stamina built" viewers, the video shifts to a strip club, where Liv Tyler performs an "amateur" strip dance for Alicia Silverstone furthering every adolescents lesbian fantasies. Next, the director takes a more realistic turn and shows us what happens at every sleepover party where hot girls are present, the all too common pillow fight. At it's stirring conclusion, the video ends up taking us to a farm, where the girls strip down to their dainty unmentionables and jump into a lake. If you are still not convinced of this video's spankability, there can be only one reason (besides being gay)....You were probably under the age of 6 when this video came out and now lack the frame of reference to appreciate a video of this quality. When it first came out, I honestly thought that I was getting away with watching a porno on TV. If my parents came into the room while I was watching this video, and assuming my right hand was on the remote, the channel would be instantly changed. Looking back at the video now, I realize that this content is not as crazy as some of the stuff on MTV now or ever on network television, so I can see how the younger generation may not appreciate it. Even still, this video has many elements that stand the test of time- namely hot teenage lesbian-teasing lolitas.

Being gay would not be a valid excuse for not liking this video because every ten seconds it unnecessarily flashes to some dude. Whether it is Stephen Tyler with his shirt off, my body double who rides the tractor, or the creepy guy at the gas station, there are definitely plenty of dudes to go around (which coincidentally is my only knock on the video). But for those of you who are homophobic, have no fear. With plenty of experience and practice, you can develop a routine that allows you to "enjoy" the video, while awkwardly looking away every 10 seconds. So sit back and enjoy, but I got to warn you, by the end of this video, I think you are going to be ready for a nap.


1 comment:

JohnnyDakota said...

You can't count the stripping scene as "spankable" considering it cuts to Steven Tyler every other second. The real gem of the Aerosmith collection is "Crying". You get less Liv, but more Alicia PLUS you get to see Sawyer from Lost get caught from behind by Silverstone and drop kicked.