Thursday, April 19, 2007

NBA Eastern Conference 1st Round Playoff Predictions

Detroit vs. Orlando

As fun as it is to watch Hedo Turkoglu age into Vincent Schiavelli before our eyes, I have to pick Detroit in 4. Detroit has the match-up advantage at 4 out of 5 positions and a ton of postseason experience. Unless everyone's favorite deceased hippie intervenes on behalf of Jesus freak, Dwight Howard, the Pistons will make short order of the Magic.

Cleveland vs. Washington

It's a shame that this rematch of last year's terrific first round matchup will be marred by the absence of Arenas and Butler. Although the Cavs are basically Lebron James and pray for rain (I know it's not a perfect fit, but it kind of rhymes and it makes a point), they will have more than enough to destroy the shorthanded Wizards in 4 games.
Only hope for the Wizards: King James is accidentally caught in the crossfire of yet another donnybrook between Wizards teammates Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood, resulting in a Con-chair-to type effect as their fists collide with opposite sides of Lebron's head at the same time, rendering him unable to continue in the series.

Raptors vs. Nets

Here's where things get interesting. The Raptors beat the Nets by six games in their division, have home court advantage, and probably the best player in the series. The Raptors have a bench loaded with swarthy Mediterrean creeps, that probably where capris in their down time, but can really play basketball.
However, the Nets are peaking at the right time and with a healthy Jefferson, have the second, third, and fourth best players in the series.
It's really a pick 'em, but I'll go with the Nets in 6, instead of the Raptors in 7, primarily because I'm a Nets fan.

Heat vs. Bulls

Another rematch of a first round series last year. However, this should be a fantastic matchup. I believe that at their best, these are the two best teams in the Eastern Conference. How often can you say that about a 4-5 matchup?
Unlike last year, I think the Bulls eek this one out in 7. Adding a year of experience should benefit the Baby Bulls, while it should have a deleterious effect on Miami's aging roster. Also, Dwyane Wade probably won't be superhuman again, until he has surgery on his bum shoulder.
Besides a Dakota Fanning oops shot, there are few things that I want to see more than the Bulls crapping all over that cheesy white linen party in a Game 7 in Miami. (Just kidding about the Dakota Fanning part. No angry e-mails please.)

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