My Apologies To Jimer

Jimer sent me his Saturday 6 pack right before I left for Vegas and in the rush of packing and getting to the airport I forgot to post. I don't want his hard work to go to waste, so I'm posting it anyway...6 days late.

The Friday Six-Pack

Intro: Last week I went 6-4, nailing the Roper and the Horsemen, but blowing pretty much everything else. What can I say, I got fingercuffed by the Zooker and the Penn State quarterback whose name shall not be spoken. This week the six-pack must be consumed as roadies as I am going mobile to the Red River Shootout.

The Helen Roper
Kentucky (5-0) at South Carolina (4-1)
Line- USCe -3.5

Breakdown: As confirmed this week [mookie, hyperlink story about UK team being exposed as gay in the 60s] the ‘Cats should have no problem getting up for the Cocks. Kentucky comes into this one undefeated, but bloated from the barley hops of self-assuredness. The ‘Cats have been scoring at will, but it has come against Chi-Omega flag football level defenses. Overrated- clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. Kentucky is the ultimate sell at this point, with this Thursday nighter in Columbia coming before a two game homestand against UF and LSU. Woodson may be a legitimate Heisman and pro prospect, but he is not going to light up the best past defense in the land on their turf. Matt Stafford learned that lesson in week one.

Spurrier will play ball control and unzip the Smelley Cock. Spurrier saw something in this kid at the beginning of fall practice, and believes he has a bright future in Columbia . His performance this week will solidify his position as the starter for USCe.

No way a team gets outed and gains an SEC road victory in the same week. Buy a half a point and lock in at 3. USCe can win by 3 just on heterosexual might alone.

The Pick: USCe 33, UK 24

The Lady Bowerbird
Oklahoma (4-1) vs. Texas (4-1)
Line: Oklahoma -11

Considering this game is a few thousand feet lower in elevation than last weeks game, I expect OU to bounce back to the explosive team they showed us they were capable of being. In the loss valuation category, I view OU’s loss last week to DIVISION I FOOTBALL playing Colorado as an anomaly, while Texas ’ home loss to Kansas State was the culmination of a continual season long slide. Before this line came out, I had promised myself that I would take OU up to 17 pts. Thus I am elated to get them at only 11.

The Pick: OU 38, UT 19

Cincinnati (5-0) at Rutgers (3-1)
Line: Rutgers -3

With an out of conference loss last week and WVU’s loss to USF, Rutgers still has a lot to play for. Rutgers will be motivated by revenge from the Nati Cat’s BCS busting win last year.

The Pick: Rutgers 20, Cincy 13

The Hymen (picks in bold)
Kansas at K.State (-3)- Though I am not sure, I think Mangino weighs more than Josh Freeman. Therefore, I will take Kansas State .

USF (-15) at Florida Atlantic- MMMM, kool aid, good.

NC State (+18.5) at FSU- FSU doesn’t beat anyone by 19 points anymore.

The 4 horsemen of the apocalypse
Houston at Alabama (-11).
Wisconsin (+2.5) at Illinois .
Wake Forest (-7) at Duke.
Virginia Tech (+5) at Clemson