Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Glass Jose

If you were hoping for a post about the Hispanic version of Mike Tyson's Punchout you're out of luck. But if you want an article detailing Jose Reyes' sexual escapades, then this is for you!

The following details were told to me by SYHD reader Drazen's Driving Instructor. He heard this story from his father who is good friends with a security guard at the Garden City Hotel on Long Island, which is where the supposed incident occurred. I have not in anyway tried to verify this story, but I trust my source. Whether I trust his source is a another matter altogether. So basically this story is only fit for blogs or espn.com (ouch, cheap shot). Ok, enough with the long-winded build up, it's time to get down to the brass tacks.

So sometime in early August (coincidentally right around the time Reyes went into his mega-slump) Reyes and his entourage decided to make a night of it at the bar in the Garden City Hotel. Reyes quickly eyes some hot little blond number, and it's on. After throwing a little game at the future Knicks intern, Reyes and his gal pal head up to a suite (do I even need to make a joke about how quickly Reyes rounds the bases?), leaving the posse to man the bar scene. Once up in the room, apparently one thing leads to another and naturally Reyes starts power banging the chick up on a glass table. What could go wrong? Well apparently glass tables are not designed to support the weight of two adults hitting skins, and both participants went crashing through, leaving Jose with some cuts on his leg and doo doo maker.

Understandably, Jose did not want word of the tryst to spread. He quickly got in touch with his crew informing them of the situation and telling them to make the problem go away. So down in the bar, the entourage starts shelling out one hundred dollar bills (not 100 $1 bills smart asses) to keep patrons and hotel staff quiet and to pay for damages. Obviously the hush money was not completely effective.

So is this a possible explanation for his lackluster play in September and August? Not if this was an isolated incident, but if this was just another night for Jose, this behavior may have taken a toll on his on the field performance. What a shitty time to outlaw greenies.

(Note: My barber said that he read an article in Newsday mentioning Reyes' trips to the Garden City Hotel, but my minimal research yielded nothing. Also a big welcome to Big Lead readers. Check out the rest of this inane blog here.)

5 comments:

King of Bad Haircuts said...

I thought The Lemontree only hired women?

Anonymous said...

Wow. So I am a die hard Mets fan getting married next year in New York . We created a website for the wedding and under "accomadations" our 2nd listing is.........."The Garden City Hotel". I guess the groomsmen will be happy.........

mandiandpatrick.com

Mookie said...

Stepped it up to Tony Dees. Got one horrible haircut too many at the Lemontree.

Ramone said...

Tell Patrick, hoop earrings are for homos!

Anonymous said...

Wow Ramone, is that how you pick out your dates?