Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Where has Jerry Gone?



Nothing makes me happier than coming home from pretending to have a hard day at work, sitting on the couch and watching 2 hours of Seinfeld reruns that I have seen 100 times. Unfortunately, my cable company has decided to rip this joy away from me and replace Seinfeld reruns with syndicated episodes of "The King of Queens." Now, I have never actually watched an episode of The King of Queens, but I am guessing I don't need to. There seem to be several shows over the past couple of decades born of the same ilk as KOQ (see e.g., "Home Improvement", "According to Jim", "Still Standing", "Yes Dear" etc...). The point is that I can probably guess most of the plotlines of KOQ without watching the show. Here are several shows that I am pretty confident occurred on KOQ.

-Wife forces King to invite squirrely new neighbor to weekly poker game. Neighbor unwittingly cleans house.

-King got tickets to the big game...OH NO! The game is on Wife's birthday.

-Wife's hot shot ex-boyfriend is back in town. King tries to "one-up" him at everything before realizing that Wife loves him just the way he is.

-King's slutty high school sweetheart is back in town. Wife tries to be sexier but is way too clumsy and awkward.

-King's father, whom he hasn't talked to in 15 years comes to visit. King and father make amends only to find out that father was just trying to borrow money for his latest get-rich-quick scheme.

10 comments:

Tremont said...

Well done. I'd like to add one...

King's high school buddy is back in town. Initially King is jealous, because the buddy appears to be the same carefree, womanizing party guy that he was 20 years ago. By the end of the episode, King discovers that his buddy has nobody who truly cares about him. The friend's entire lifestyle is a facade to mask his loneliness. King realizes how good he has it being with his wife.

Mookie said...

There has to be a plot device where King gets locked in a basement, storage freezer, etc. Someone will innocently enter the room, giving King the hope that he will get out, but that hope will be dashed when the door ultimately shuts behind both of them. The trapped characters are ones who have had their differences, but after spending an episode locked in a room, they will come out of it with a new understanding of one another.

Chief Stickeyback said...

Don't listen to this nonsense. Seinfeld was so hard to understand. King and 2 1/2 Men are much easier to follow.

Also, you forget the one where King finally has peace and quiet for the weekend, only as soon as he lounges on the couch, a crazy series of events unfold that keep him from relaxing. Finally, when he completes these tasks, he repeats his initial lounging as his family bursts through the door.

Dylan M. Kay said...

(1)King's brother and said brother's very attractive, young new girlfriend visit for the weekend. Wife bemusedly notices King's fawning over brother's new flame. King denies any such action. Through series of remarkable coincidences and happenstance surrounding sleeping arrangements for the visitors, King ends up climbing into bed at night not with Wife, but with brother's girlfriend. Hilarious chaos ensues.

(2) King drunkenly staggers into party announced to witness Best Friend and Best Girl canoodling on the dance floor. King brazenly confronts blissful duo. Friend apologizes for King finding out about relationship in such a manner. King says Friend is not ever to feel sorry for King. Friend takes back being sorry for the heretofore secret pairing. King tells Friend to shut up. Friend, in kind, tells King to shut up. Both King and Friend issue challenge for other to make him shut up.

Jimer said...

King goes to work everyday. Hates his job, hates everything about his life. Realizes that he does not live in a TV show. King's favorite team has historical collapse. Who is King?

Mookie said...

The King is I! Except that the King has a hot chick.

Bobby Snyder said...

I think I may also be the King.

Anonymous said...

Great posts guys...

Here it goes...

King's wife gets a promotion at work. Aside from feeling inadequate, King stuggles with the concept of not having home cooked meals every night and having to assume many of his wife's domestic duties.

Just when King reaches his boiling point in this change of circumstance, his wife's boss informs her that the company has been bought out by some off-shore conglomerate. King's wife is sent packing. King is there for his wife. The audience takes comfort in this.

King learns from this experience. He declares Tuesday night will remain his night to cook. He continues to make his beloved casserole, the one his kids came to know and love during the two months King's wife wore the pants in the family.

Great Antonio said...

Anonymous Guy 11:45 is me. I eff'ed up.

Matt said...

King of Queen is actaully a good show.