The Friday Six Pack (Hofbrahaus Edition)

Intro: Lets find out if we have learned anything from this season. So far the only thing I am costing you is the juice to bet, as I am exactly 15-15 on the year.

The Helen Roper

USC (-18) at Notre Dame

I’m not ready to bring Notre Dame within 18 points of USC despite the efforts from either team over the past two weeks. Although USC has the chemistry and accountability of a band of gypsies, they should have no problem getting up for Notre Dame. Look for Mark “Dirty” Sanchez to replace Booty, who has a broken finger on his throwing hand. Sanchez has yet to indicate that he has a talent beyond painting fecal pencil thins, but on its worst day, the USC offense is light years ahead of Notre Dame’s in talent and efficiency. Count on a pressure enduced pick-6 from Sharpley and a cameo from the chic Jimmy Clausen. For the casual viewers out there, watch the disparity in line play on these two teams.

The Pick: USC 38-7

The Lady Bowerbird

Michigan at Illinois (+2.5)

Kudos to you Zooker, you have made it to a prime time game that means something. Illinois' offense and style of play revives memories of early September demons for the Wolverines. Don't be sold on Michigan as a rock of stability. If Illinois' athletes go off early, Michigan's fragile psyche will take a hit. Especially if they do not have a healthy Mike Hart to bail them out as he has in recent games. A hobled Hart will keep that defense on the field a little more, which may have Juice Williams and Rashard Mendenhall looking "Hot, Hot, HOT!" If this isnt a "see what you are made of game," I don't know what is. Oh god I can't believe I am doing this. I cant be...can I?

The Pick: Illinois 27-17

NC State at East Carolina (-5.5)

I didn't think it was possible to be worse than Duke, but NC State has proven me wrong. This team is pitiful. It doesn't help that they are playing with their 3rd string RB and 2nd string QB. Remember how bad you performed when you had to call in the second and third string honkey tonk specials at 2:30am? NCSU will be Tommy Cheeseballs this week.

O'Brien has to be kicking himself in the ass right about now.

The Pick: ECU 24-10

The Hymen

Oregon (-11) at Washington- Time to get on the Duck bandwagon. Oregon showed me alot last week by bouncing back from the Cal loss to thrash Wazzou. Key injuries on offense means this team will lean on Dixon and Stewart more this week, which is a good thing. Kige Ramsey would say "Oregon will win because they have a good QB and RB. I also like their uniforms." Oregon covers.

Texas Tech (+3.5) at Mizzou- First to 50 wins. If you drink milk while looking at the Texas Tech QB's passing yards thru 7 games, it will likely come out of your nose. Even considering future games with Texas and Oklahoma expect Harrell to throw for nearly 60 TDs and/or 6000 yards. Currently thru 7 games... 3150 yards... 31 TDs... 3 INTs... and only 1 game below 420 yards so far. Yep, you are correct if you said to yourself "that's 11 more TDs than Colt Brennan, with less than a third the INTs!" I just get the feeling in this one that Mizzou is relying too much on one player, while TT is doing it with system. Take TT on the road. This team is poised to make a run. Graham Harrell on the base drum, Graham Harrell on the base drum...tah tah.

Miami at FSU- This game went from GAME OF THE CENTURY, to GAME OF THE YEAR, to GAME OF THE WEEK, to what it is now....POTENTIALLY THE GAME OF THE TIME SLOT IN YOUR REGION. These two programs are a joke. I refuse to pick a winner in this game, as I root for debilitating injury or better yet death for each player, student, school official, or alumnus for both schools every week. Take the under, which is generously listed at 41pts. Look for a 7-6 game going into the 4th quarter with a late mistake making the difference either way.

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Florida (-7) at Kentucky- UF wins and covers.
Iowa at Purdue (-7)- Iowa=offense redacted. Purdue covers at home.
Michigan State (+17) at Ohio State- All the trends and logic points to OSU to cover. That is why I am taking MSU, and that is why I call it the Sparty Rule.
Tennessee at Alabama (PK)- Alabama has been within a handful of plays away from a five-game losing streak, and it shows in its recent 0-5 ATS mark. I’ll take the Vols even if they’re laying a point or two come kickoff.

The Outro: You know its a weird year when I have more NFL betting success than College Football. A strong tease this week would be Skins, Saints, 49ers and Lions. Lions would be my NFL Roper.

I haven't watched a combined inning of baseball all year long and I am damn proud of it.