A Non-Partisan Fan's Guide on Who to Root For in the Super Bowl

This guy is really bugging the piss out of me. It would be nice to see men of this age in South Beach go back to the customary Geritol and warm milk in lieu of champagne.




On second thought, this guy is a huge douchebag. Is he holding a goddamn goat? God I hate Tom Brady.




















On third thought, how can one possibly route for this guy? He might as well be licking something else white and creamy in this ill-conceived spot with his ad-whore sibling.



So here's my recommendation for the non-partisan fan and what I will be rooting for prior to Super Sunday. Two plane crashes. Its a win-win-win situation. Patriots remain undefeated-no more pictures of pretty boy signal callers cradling farm animals -and no more bizarre advertisements of Manning brothers licking random objects. Who's with me?