Nowhere To Run, Nowhere To Hide (More thoughts on the new job)

I'm not going to turn this blog into a self-indulgent rant about my employment sitch (yet), but I wanted to run some more quick thoughts out there on working life.

I've always been able to balance production with slacking off well enough to make work tolerable while actually do a good job. My work style is characterized by short bursts of ultraproductivity followed by long lulls of baffling inactivity (sounds like my blogging output). When I did temp work in a large office, I would regularly take long leisurely strolls around the building. On a few occasions I actually left the building, got into my car, and drove around for fifteen minutes. I had nowhere to go, but I figured cruising around scoping out chicks in the mall parking lot was a hell of a lot better than entering numbers into a spreadsheet. Despite my nomadic ways, my bosses loved me and I always finished my projects on-time or early.

Well yesterday I started a job at a very small law practice. How small is it?! It's so small....ok, this isn't turning into the Match Game. It's me, two other lawyers (both at least ten years older than me), and two female support staff (none of whom are attractive). I'm accounted for at all times. There will be no promenading around the building since the entire office is aware of when I leave and for how long. I'm even getting paranoid about how many trips I take to the water cooler during the day, thinking that everyone is counting how many times I get up from desk. I imagine this is what jail feels like, the shower rapings notwithstanding.

Furthermore, perhaps the only thing that can make work truly bearable, socializing with coworkers, is not an option at this job. The other two lawyers are my superiors, and fraternizing with a boss is inevitably awkward even in the best situations. I already established the unattractiveness of the female support staff, so they are not worth socializing with, but even if I did, every conversation topic and length would be scrutinized by the elder lawyers who are within earshot.

That leaves me the with the internet as my one refuge, but since I just started work I feel very uncomfortable about recklessly surfing the intraweb. My door is always open and the other lawyers are constantly walking into my office and since I am trying to establish myself as a diligent and committed employee, I don't want them to see me checking out Kige Ramsey sounding off or watching Afro Ninja fall on his head.

So I was in the office for 9 hours today and I pretty much did 9 hours of work- a new career high! Only four more decades to go though, so at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

On a side note, I find myself wishing that every work week would end as soon as possible, yet I get depressed as the days go by reflecting on my squandered youth. What a vicious cycle.