The Worst Sports Weekend of My Life

Here is the rundown of the worst sports weekend of my life:

1. The Mets engineered the second biggest collapse in baseball history.

2. The Jets lost to the worst team in the NFL. Thankfully I wasn't around to watch that one. Unfortunately, I was at Shea Stadium instead.

3. The Gators were defeated by Auburn, ostensibly ending their bid for back to back BCS Championships. How improbable is it that a college kicker nails two consecutive 42 yard field goals when extra points are far from a sure thing in the collegiate game.

4. I led two fantasy baseball leagues going into the last game of the season. I won neither, which netted me a loss of approx. $600 in prize money.

Surprisingly, I'm still ticking which is either good news or bad news depending on who you talk to.

Nightly Depressed Met Fan Rant

I gave you everything I had, but you ripped my heart out like you were Kano performing a fatality. A lot of people told me I was an idiot for believing in you. The naysayers kept trying to point out your weaknesses, but I defended you to no end. I kept focusing on the good times, while dismissing the bad as merely a fleeting aberration. Sure we sure had some tumultuous times, but if it were that easy it wouldn't be worth it. The highs were high and the lows were low. When things were going well I felt like I had everything in the world that I could ever want. When things were not so hot, I was completely miserable. Through it all though, I thought we were going it pull out. But now it appears it wasn't meant to be, which is a shame because we could have gone all the way.

I'm going to take this a whole lot harder than you are. You have everything going for you. You're just going to brush this all off and go out on the town like nothing happened. Me? This is going to haunt me for a very long time and I'm going to have a tough time trusting you or anybody else ever again. And when you come calling in a couple months, when you're lonely and need people to pay attention to you, I'll be back. Not necessarily because I want to, but because I don't know any better.

If you need me I'll listening to Bright Eyes' "It's Cool We Can Still Be Friends"

Nightly Depressed Mets Fan Rant

Every day is exactly the same. I wake up at 6:50am and hop in the shower (female readers feel free to fantasize). I get dressed, eat breakfast, and don't get to read the newspaper because my youngest brother has it in the bathroom with him for 45 min every morning. Then I jump on the Long Island Expressway and hit traffic at the same exact exits. At work, I research and write all morning. My day takes a turn for the better as I take a 30 min post-lunch nap in my car. But unfortunately I wake up and realize that I have four and a half more hours of researching and writing to go before the day is over. After leaving the office and hitting intermitten traffic on the ride home, I get to my house just in time to throw some luke warm dinner on my plate and settle in front of the tube for Mets baseball. I watch the Mets offense stake the starter to an early four or five run lead. Then I witness the starting pitcher blow that lead. Then a little piece of me dies inside. By the time the bullpen lets all its inherited runners to score I am almost completely numb. After the opposition scores a few insurance runs putting the game safely out of reach, I shut off my TV, surf the net to see if any celeb boobs have made their way onto The Superficial, and then fall asleep.

Rinse and Repeat.

(I'm sure I bungled tense and syntax in this post, but I really don't care)

Nowhere To Run, Nowhere To Hide (More thoughts on the new job)

I'm not going to turn this blog into a self-indulgent rant about my employment sitch (yet), but I wanted to run some more quick thoughts out there on working life.

I've always been able to balance production with slacking off well enough to make work tolerable while actually do a good job. My work style is characterized by short bursts of ultraproductivity followed by long lulls of baffling inactivity (sounds like my blogging output). When I did temp work in a large office, I would regularly take long leisurely strolls around the building. On a few occasions I actually left the building, got into my car, and drove around for fifteen minutes. I had nowhere to go, but I figured cruising around scoping out chicks in the mall parking lot was a hell of a lot better than entering numbers into a spreadsheet. Despite my nomadic ways, my bosses loved me and I always finished my projects on-time or early.

Well yesterday I started a job at a very small law practice. How small is it?! It's so small....ok, this isn't turning into the Match Game. It's me, two other lawyers (both at least ten years older than me), and two female support staff (none of whom are attractive). I'm accounted for at all times. There will be no promenading around the building since the entire office is aware of when I leave and for how long. I'm even getting paranoid about how many trips I take to the water cooler during the day, thinking that everyone is counting how many times I get up from desk. I imagine this is what jail feels like, the shower rapings notwithstanding.

Furthermore, perhaps the only thing that can make work truly bearable, socializing with coworkers, is not an option at this job. The other two lawyers are my superiors, and fraternizing with a boss is inevitably awkward even in the best situations. I already established the unattractiveness of the female support staff, so they are not worth socializing with, but even if I did, every conversation topic and length would be scrutinized by the elder lawyers who are within earshot.

That leaves me the with the internet as my one refuge, but since I just started work I feel very uncomfortable about recklessly surfing the intraweb. My door is always open and the other lawyers are constantly walking into my office and since I am trying to establish myself as a diligent and committed employee, I don't want them to see me checking out Kige Ramsey sounding off or watching Afro Ninja fall on his head.

So I was in the office for 9 hours today and I pretty much did 9 hours of work- a new career high! Only four more decades to go though, so at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

On a side note, I find myself wishing that every work week would end as soon as possible, yet I get depressed as the days go by reflecting on my squandered youth. What a vicious cycle.