Thoughts while watching the Home Run Derby:

-They need to shorten this thing. It shouldn't as long to play as a Yankee-Red Sox game.

-I really hope Matt Holliday hits a line drive off the head of one of those kids in the outfield who can't catch. At least it would add a little excitement to this borefest.

-Berman needs to put a moratorium on his "Back, back, back, back gone" HR call during a home run derby. It's stale enough as he's been doing it for the past 20 years, but in a derby setting it's downright Excedrin size headache inducing. A Chris Berman derby drinking game would surely induce alcohol poisoning for all who attempt.

-Dusty Baker just said, "I'd love me some Vlad" after Guerrero hit a monster home run. Dusty, that's what we call a questionable statement.

-The camera work is horrible. One camera is so jittery it appears to be operated by a anxiety ridden crack addict who is on his 12th cup of coffee and has just seen the apparition of his dead mother while the another camera is apparently operated by an intern from the Helen Keller Institute as it just pans around the outfield hoping to find the ball.

-Do we really need John Kruk and Steve Phillips in studio to analyze the derby? Do we really need John Kruk and Steve Phillips to analyze anything? Hey here's a scoop, I heard Albert Pujols' secret strategy this year is to hit the ball long and hard (I think that just made Dusty Baker excited) .

-Pujols is eliminated after his valiant rally falls just short. Who is this Jordan Barber guy with the airbrushed shirt who keeps interjecting himself into every photo op as if he is relevant? Also, they showed Pujols' kid during his at bat, but I don't think it was the retarded one...unfortunately.

-The way ESPN covers this event it makes the derby seem much more important and relevant than what it actually is- mindless fun.

-Berman makes a "hanging chad" joke and it's not even during a Jets highlight. He is SOOO hip. The year 2000 called and wants it topical humor back.

-Vlad is being interviewed about not wearing batting gloves, but no mentioned is made of him urinating on his hands. I'm pissed, that's just irresponsible journalism.

-Alex Rios pulls a grounder way foul and almost hits Kevin Mitchell. I wish it hit him so Mitchell could get up, walk over to Rios, tear his esophagus out, and calmly walk back to his seat as if nothing had happened.

-Vlad wins in a final round devoid of drama. Ho hum.

-Geez I can't believe I'm sort of live blogging the Home Run Derby. I really need a life...being a curmudgeon just isn't going to cut it.