Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Eight Overrated Ladies of the Eighties (#4)

4) Dolly Parton/ Madonna. Admittedly this is cheap. I hate when other lists try to shoehorn 15 things into a top 10. My explanation: I originally had Dolly Parton penciled in for the #4 spot, but then Mookie reminded me of Madonna. I had originally left Madonna off of the list for reasons I will explain a little later. Then I began to find some holes in my choice of Dolly Parton. So I combined them into one number. I promise that there won't be anymore 2 for 1s from here on out.

4a) Dolly Parton- She is the ultimate one feature pony. I've always been of the opinion that no single feature, no matter how exceptional, can carry an otherwise ordinary broad to beauty. Without the knockers she would have been a mildly attractive Tennessee house frau. That's probably terribly unfair being that she has as distinctive a voice as any American artist in...ever. However female celebrities are judged almost entirely on physical appearance. Give her average breasts and she immediately goes from a 9 to 5. (Get it? Like the movie! See she was in a movie called 9 to 5, referencing common workplace hours. I just said that without big boobies she would go from a 9 to 5 on the common 1 to 10 scale that women are rated on. Do you see what I did there?! I took "9 to 5" from one context and placed into a completely unrelated one. I did that on purpose, so that you would see how clever I am.)

My major qualm about including her on this list was that Dolly Parton was as much a 70s icon as an 80s icon. That inconveinent truth doesn't really jive with my premise that standards of beauty were ignored in the 80s. So now we are in the bonus..

4b) Madonna- I added Madonna on the list for two reasons; Mookie's suggestion and the inherent flaws with my original 4 seed. Mookie feel free to make your anti-Madonna case in the comments section, as I don't feel that strongly about this one.
The woman certainly isn't/wasn't a beauty queen, but I don't think the whole Madonna craze was about her knock out appearance. It was more about proudly slutting it up for the world.

This has undoubtedly been my weakest post in the Overrated series and so it shall remain. The top 3 are truly a cut above the rest.

1 comment:

Mookie said...

I have to wait until you unveil your #3 for me to make my Madonna argument.