Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Draftnik Parental Control

I like to imagine Mel Kiper Jr. watching Todd McShay's spots on SportsCenter the way a jealous boyfriend watches his gal's dates on MTV's Parental Control. I see Kiper cockily sprawled out on a Disney executive's coach as the suits tell him that McShay is everything Kiper is not. A defiant Kiper spits out a bunch of canned zingers about McShay and the execs. Then he lifts his leg, farts, waves it in the direction of the Disney executives, and says "You know you like it".

When Scott Van Pelt and McShay return from their date, Van Pelt has a tough decision to make. He weighs the pros and cons of staying with Kiper.

"Mel, your a real nice guy sometimes and we have a lot of history...BUT...You look like Dracula and you don't respect me. I choose Todd."

Disney executives celebrate. A dumbfounded Kiper says ESPN is skanky anyway, farts again, then splits.

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