Wednesday, February 6, 2008

All is Not Quiet on the Western Front
















All I can say is wow. My beloved Phoenix Suns, in what was assuredly a knee-jerk reaction to the blockbuster Pau Gasol trade completed by the Lakers last week (fuck you Memphis), have just acquired Shaquille O'neal for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks' awful contract. Contrary to what 90% of the talking heads are saying this morning, I think this is a great albeit incredibly ballsy move for the boys in purple.
This thing is going one of two ways- A. the Big Aristotle provides a stabilizing defensive presence-opens the floors for the shooters-and provides the low post rebounding/scoring presence the Suns have so desperately needed. Or B.- The Big Fundamental runs out of diesel fuel, misses 32 games with another weight related injury and leaves the Suns with a gaping hole in the middle and out in the first round of the playoffs. The Western Conference is shaping up for an epic post-season; one in which the victor is going to look like the German army post-Stalingrad by the time they make the finals. In what has become the biggest arms race since the cold war-the Suns just added their weapon of mass destruction.

5 comments:

Greg Ostertag Body Spray said...

90% is a pretty low estimate. I have yet to see anyone other than you say that this trade makes any sense.

Before I became a gimp, I played pickup basketball with Max Starks a couple of times. He was absolutely unstoppable for the first three possessions. By the fourth possession however, he would be completely gassed and just kind of hang out around midcourt for the rest of the game. My guess is that he was in a lot better shape than Shaq.

anonymous said...

Isn't duncan the big fundamental?

Every Western Conference Center said...

We're going to eat Shaq alive. He couldn't guard Terry Schiavo. (Too soon?)

Oliver Miller said...

Man, Shaq is really out of shape.

Bo Jackson said...

Shaq, do you want to borrow my hip for the rest of the season?