As cynical an a-hole as I am, Take Your Daughter to Work Day is kind of a sweet idea. Nothing is more adorable than a bunch of bundles of sugar and spice and everything nice checking out what daddy or mommy does for a living.
But not having an offspring with internal genitalia on Take Your Daughter to Work Day is a lot like not having a main squeeze on Valentine's Day. You just feel left out.
So for the rest of us, I propose a phonemic reversal of the first sounds of the words "daughter" and "work" and a slight tweak in spelling. Suddenly you have a new holiday "Take Your Water to Dirk Day". The festivities are rather self-explanatory. Find a guy named Dirk and bring your water to him. As a sports fan, the first Dirk that comes to mind is Dirk Nowitzki. This year TYDTW Day falls on April 24. This is one day before what will likely be a crucial Game 3 for the Mavericks in their series with the Hornets. I strongly encourage our enormous Dallas/Ft. Worth fanbase to bring Dirk bottles of water on this day. You know he is going to be thirsty. Avery Johnson will have that team busting their asses in preparation for the first home game of the postseason. Dirk will need to be properly hydrated.