Pun of the Day

It's being reported that the Miami Dolphins are looking to pass the Culpepper.

I'm not sure if they are looking to trade Culpepper or just cut him, but if I'm a NFL front office (which I'm obviously not) I'd take a shot at Culpepper. He was rushed back from surgery last season and after having an additional offseason to recover he might yet be a productive NFL player once again. I'd sign him for an incentive laden contract with a low base salary since at this point he is a low risk/high reward guy. At the very least would be a great insurance policy for a shaky starting qb.

Pun of the Day

There is no fair way to deal with golf coach whose behavior was not up to par.
(Now yelling "fore" because this pun is awful and missed its mark)

Actually there is a fair way to deal with him, they fired him, but I didn't want to ruin a perfectly good pun. Apparently University of Georgia women's golf coach Todd McCorkle behaved extremely inappropriately with his players by continually making sexually explicit statements and showing his team the Paris Hilton sex video. This guy is in some deep....rough.

Pun of the Day

Apparently the Philadelphia Eagles left Donovan McNabb out in the Kolb when it came to their draft decision making. The Eagles QB was shocked that the franchise McNabbed a QB so early in the draft.

Pun of the Day

The Miami Dolphins first round draft pick is still hurting from the Ginnjury he suffered during the BCS game and may not be ready for opening day. Disgruntled Dolphans who already voiced their displeasure over the pick on draft day are just going to have to Ginn and bear for now.

That's right. Two top flight puns in one post. Only in America!

Pun of the Day

Falcons QB Vick-timizes innoncent dogs

Boy that Michael Vick makes a lot of bad decisions...and not just in the pocket. How badly do you think this guy is hoping that the Falcons trade up for Calvin Johnson? On a scale of 1-10, I'd say infinity.

Pun of the Day

TV Broadcaster a Thorne in Red Sox pitcher's side. I'd give a schilling for Curt's thoughts on the accusation.

Once again my pun of the day infringes on a previous blog post, but again I felt it was too good give up.

Pun of the Day

Reporter must have misread the owner's manuel.

Is middle-aged men challenging people to fights the new cool? First it was Joey Crawford v. Tim Duncan and now is Phillies manager Charlie Manuel challenging Philly sports radio host Howard Eskin to good old-fashioned bare knuckled fisticuffs. Does Manuel even want to keep his job? Being a Mets fan, I take even more joy from last night's win knowing that the Phillies are a Tom Gordon blown save away from complete implosion- which could happen as early as tonight.

Pun of the Day

EA Sports maddens entire Titan fan base by placing Vince Young on the cover of '08.

Vince Young has been chosen to adorn the cover of Madden 2008, which has placed every Tennessee Titan in a state of premature mourning due to the perceived Madden Curse.

Let me interject myself into the whole Madden curse discussion. I believe there are no such things as jinxes or curses (The Brady Bunch will agree to disagree). My friend swears by the Voodoo and Witch Doctoring he spent three years learning at a Caribbean Med School , I sincerely doubt any of that exists either. The injuries attributed to the Madden Curse can be blamed simply on bad luck and the inherit dangerousness of the football. Many of the players featured since the curse began have been veterans who already had a lot of wear and tear on their bodies (see George, Eddie) or overhyped younger players of whom success was not assured (see Vick, Michael). Also, the positions that generally make up the the cover boys for the venerable video game franchise, running back and quarterback, are positions which lend themselves to injury more than others. A running back is being hit hard roughly 25 times a game while quarterbacks get walloped by defensive players who want to do nothing less than knock them out of the game. Injuries are simply inevitable and a player who is on the cover is featured for a reason. A player featured on the cover of Madden is generally one of the top players in the league at his position. That player will be on the field with the ball in his hands as much as possible and thus the odds of an injury increase even further.

Please indulge me and allow me to play dime store psychologist for a moment. Fairly or unfairly, athletes are stereotypically viewed as superstitious people. They may be more likely to buy into the idea of a curse and thus maybe some of the more recent cover boys do actually believe that impending doom awaits them in the upcoming season. In order to avoid his fate (which is stupid because if you've ever read a Greek myth, you'd know that you can't avoid fate) the cover subject either consciously or subconsciously plays the game more cautiously than he would otherwise, thus opening himself up to injuries/poor performance by playing a half a step slower or without that reckless abandon that vaulted onto the cover in the first place.

We have yet to see what fate belies Young Vince, but will a sophomore slump or serious injury be attributed simply to bad luck/performance or rather to a higher, otherworldly power that wants nothing more than to emotionally and physically cripple the players who grace the cover of John Madden Football.

Pun of the Day

Oh what a Freeling...Ryan's dancing on the ceiling. Ryan Freel gets a 2-year extension from the Cincinnati Reds.

For record I had two better puns. One is in the comment section of the Andre Agassi wife beater post and the other is a Va Tech shooting pun. I am rarely one to be bashful in the wake of tragedy, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Pun(s) of the Day

One-time Distinguished Gentleman Eddie Murphy and Ex-Spice Girl Mel B. apparently had a couple wild Harlem Nights and now The Golden Child is Coming to America. That's Life, I guess. No word on whether the OBGYN is Dr. Doolittle. Hopefully he took careful notes on the set of Daddy Day Care. Ugh...this is hack.

Pun of the Day

I was trying to come up with a good pun for Bledsoe's retirement, but I Drew a blank. Anyway, If Washington State decides to erect a statue in the retired quaterback's honor, would they be better served to just have Bledsoe himself stand on a pedistal outside the stadium on game days? No one would know the difference.

Pun of the Day

Durant declares for the NBA draft, UCLA star Afflalos suit.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/basketball/ncaa/04/10/durant.announcement.ap/index.html
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/basketball/ncaa/04/10/bc.bkc.ucla.afflalo.ap/index.html

Pun of the Day

It looks like its game over for Pac Man Jones. I bet he's chomping at the bit to be reinstated.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2832015