Senseless Baseball Cliches (Part I)

"Don't get beat with your second or third best pitch." I just heard Ron Darling echo this popular sentiment on the Mets broadcast. How does this make sense? It seems to me that the only way for one to avoid getting beaten on his second or third best pitch is to only throw one pitch. Everyone knows that, with the possible exception of a prime Mariano Rivera, pitchers need more than one pitch to get Major League hitters out. That is why catchers have to place a varying amount of digits betwixt their squatting legs before each pitch. It's kind of a big part of the game.

Saying "Don't get beat with your second or third best pitch" is tantamount to saying "Be Mariano Rivera". I don't think that that kind of advice is very instructive for the pitchers that lack the ability to throw a 95 MPH fastball that breaks 8 inches, without making the catcher move his mitt.

Rajon, Grant the Celts a title.

Have you ever seen a 21-year old point guard have even close to this much talent to work with?

Rajon Rondo had a very nice rookie season with the Boston Celtics, proving that he belongs in the elite group of young point guards that may usher in the new era, including T.J. Ford and Deron Williams and the like, and led by Tyronn Lue. But what has happened right in front of his young eyes is unprecedented. Will he have a sophomore slump while dishing the ball to the likes of Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen? Or will Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin once again get to celebrate at the bar where everybody knows your name?

Thoughts on the Deadline Deals

1) I love what the Braves did in acquiring Mark Teixeira and two quality relief pitchers for their backup catcher, 5th starter, and some promising prospects. All things being equal, I am convinced that the Braves currently have the best roster in the National League. They easily have the best lineup in the NL, an excellent top three starters, and newly fortified bullpen. If the Braves were within 2 of the Mets right now, I would bet on Atlanta.

2) The Red Sox did a good job adding Gagne to the bullpen. They already had the division locked up, but they probably made themselves the frontrunners to win the World Series. Of course it's baseball, so the Brewers will probably stumble in the playoff back door and win the World Series.

3) Texas has torn their team to bits. At this point, they might as well trade their remaining veteran assets (Michael Young, Otsuka) and commit to another two years of sucking and rebuilding. They are going to be Washington Nationals bad for the foreseeable future.

4) I like the Proctor for Betemit trade...a little bit. Proctor is a serviceable reliever, who has so far held up to two years of Joe Torre's abuse. Somebody should really start a Safe At Home Foundation for victims of Joe Torre's bullpen brutality.

Scene:
Scott Proctor in the lockerroom, entire upper body wrapped in ice. He hears Joe signature shuffle entering the room and curls into the fetal position.
Joe looks at what he has done to young Scott and begins weeping.
Joe: Don't you see?! I pitch you everyday, because I love you.

If Scott Proctor became completely ineffective over the next year or two, I wouldn't be surprised. More often than not, relief pitchers have a couple of decent years and fall off the face of the planet. I have no reason to suspect Proctor will be an exception. Besides, I have already written ad nauseum that the Yankees have better options toiling in the minor leagues; Chris Britton, Edwar Ramirez, and Joba Chamberlain to name a few.

Betemit is a handy infielder who should mercifully bring Miguel Cairo's Yankees career to an end. He also give the Yanks a contingency plan, if A-Rod signs elsewhere. Of course, Betemit is not in Rodriguez's league. But Betemit would give them a league average third baseman and allow them to spend their money on an outfielder (Torii Hunter, Kosuke Fukudome?) I still desperately want A-Rod to return, but Betemit opens up additional possibilities for the Yankees.

More blatant misuse of the word "humbled"

This is something that has bothered me for ages, and I sadly feel that i'm the only person that ever notices it. In todays New York Post, this was a statement by Tom Glavine, in reference to his quest for his 300th career victory tonight. "Its the greatest measuring stick for starting pitchers. To have the opportunity is something i'm really excited about and certainly very humbled by."

Thomas, how does this humble you? The opportunity to join 22 of the greatest pitchers in the history of the game, and quite possibly be the last 300-winner ever makes you feel more humble? Wouldnt something like having 225 of those wins scratched from the record because baseball feels that umpires cheated to help you win, and at the same time never being able to do anything except give up home runs for the rest of your career humble you? That sounds more accurate.

I don't get why people say things like "having all of these thousands of people here to see me perform, and to honor my career - its just very humbling." One person that i've heard say something to this effect is Bono. It just comes off as disengenuous.

Someone agree with me, please.

The Benoit Standard

I just can't get it up for Bill Walsh's passing. Chris Benoit has raised the bar so high for celebrity deaths that I don't want to be bothered with a 75 year old dying of leukemia.

Uncle Jessie's Worst Nightmare

What a difference a decade makes for America's early 90's sweetheart Jodie Sweetin, a.k.a.-Stephanie Judith Tanner. TMZ cameras spotted the former honeybee and Giant's ace pitcher out on the town riding some tatted up loser (her husband no less). Sweetin apparently has a new show in the works where she picks up her former Full House role-while the show is set to air soon, writers are feverishly trying to narrow down suggested catch phrases that made the show such a TGIF Powerhouse back in the day. Among the early favorites:
"How rude!-of you to offer only an eight ball of coke for a hand job"
"The doggie ate my methodone!"
And you thought Danny was pissed when DJ brought Steve home, wait until this guy sells Comet for dog meat in Chinatown to feed his crippling meth addiction.

Garnett in Green

Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen! A team with these three guys and a bunch of D-Leaguers would be pretty scary. Good thing, because that is essentially what they will be surrounded with.

To borrow a wrestling term, I am arguably the world's biggest Kevin Garnett mark. What is not to like about Garnett? He is 7 feet tall, is athletic as all get-out, shoots the ball well, handles it like a guard, is always in the top 3 in rebounding, plays outstanding defense, and is incredibly unselfish (perhaps to a fault). He never gets hurt and busts his ass every game.

Garnett's lone weakness, not always asserting himself on offense as much as he should, is offset by being teamed with a couple of conscienceless chuckers (I mean that in the most positive possible way). With the possible exception of Terrell Brandon, circa 2000, Garnett has never played with one guy as good as Pierce or Allen, let alone two. If the Celtics could find a hold down the fort Derek Fisher-type to play the point and a feisty prick of a big man, ala Mikki Moore,they would be the team to beat in the NBA.

Even though this move essentially 86es any chance of my Nets competing for an Eastern Conference Title, I'm happy to see this trade happen. I would be thrilled to see Kevin Garnett get a well-deserved championship. I'm tired of hearing people trash Garnett, because of his lack of postseason success. Skip Bayless just referred to him as Kevin Gar-not. I have never heard one of his critics address this issue; With which team should he have won a title? I think he will get one in the next two years.

Someone Took a Mets Loss Harder Than Nocedog

The early favorite for Overreaction of the Year is in. He is Michael Anthony and he killed his mother after becoming enraged by a Mets loss to the Nats over the weekend. Michael, the Mets are in 1st place and have the best record in the National League. Now this reaction might have been justified after Beltran took strike three to end the NLCS, but jeez this is a July game against the Nats. You can't win 'em all. Also since he was obviously more of a die hard fan than his mother, the murder will further complicate Michael's life because I doubt they offer the MLB Extra Innings package in Rikers Island. Losing pitcher Pedro Feliciano, who is the "but for" cause of this tragedy, could not be reached for comment.

Wow, talk about pulling a Benoit.

Mets Make a Trade That is Unlikely To Help Either Team

Earlier today the Mets traded two of their C level prospects, Dustin Martin and Drew Butera, for Twins 2b Luis Castillo. I don't hate the trade, but I don't like the trade as I believe that it will not make the Mets a better team. In the words of the late, not so great A. Anthony Miller, I couldn't be more underwhelmed. To put it simply, Castillo isn't that good of a baseball player. Yes, he is still an above average glove, but he is no longer the base stealing threat he once was. I'm not saying that he has the legs of Lt. Dan, but he has only swiped 9 bases this year while battling through various lower extremity ailments. This is certainly not a good sign since his best tool is speed. Furthermore, this guy slugs worse than Mark Gastineau in a non-fixed boxing match. In fact, this year his slugging percentage (.352) is lower than his on base percentage(.356)...excuse me while I raise a red flag of concern. In the past, his lack of slugging was offset by his propensity for stealing bases, but a 90 OPS+ without swiping a lot of bags does not cut it in my book.

The combined production of a Damion Easley (.266/.339/.438) and Ruben Go Go Gotay (.350/.382/.504) platoon outweighd the offensive and defensive contributions of Castillo. Even taking into account Gotay's inevitable regression towards the mean I still believe the platoon will be just as, if not more effective than Castillo. Gotay's slugging is not a complete aberration. He OPS'd over .800 in his first several stops in the minors and after watching him the past few months he seems to have some nice pop in his pat and a strong approach at the plate. His career arch resembles that of Brandon Phillips....something to keep in mind. Also, since Castillo is not a long term solution (he turns 32 in a month and his OBP and speed numbers have declined the last two seasons) I would like to see if Gotay is capable of handling the position on a full-time basis.

But what about playoff experience? Luis Castillo has plenty it, you say. That has to mean something! I'll leave that intangible-laden discussion up to the Wallace Matthews' and Murray Chass' of the world, but baseball is baseball. If you can hit a ball in the regular season you can hit it in the magical realm known as the playoffs. But unfortunately it becomes the old catch-22 where you can't get the job if you don't have experience, but you can't get experience unless you get the job. Gotay is in this quandary. He is not considered playoff tested, so the Mets want to go with a known quantity (with a lower ceiling), but how is a guy like Gotay supposed to earn his stripes if he can't catch a whiff of playoff playing time after OPS+'ing 136 from the 2B spot?

On the positive side, the Mets get Castillo for next to nothing. Butera and Martin were not on any top prospect list I've read and neither puts up numbers that would endear themselves to sabermetricians. I sincerely doubt either will ever help out the Twins in anyway, so if the Mets get anything positive out of Castillo, they get the better of the trade. Additionally, if Castillo, who is a free agent to be, walks after the season the Mets would gain a 2nd round compensatory draft pick. Said pick will hopefully be used to pick a player with more upside than either Butera or Martin (Please Omar, no more relievers!!).

In sum, Castillo is not a very valuable baseball player anymore and the platoon of Easley/Gotay at the very least is just as productive as Castillo, so the trade is pretty much meaningless.

Something Big Going Down in Flushing?

The Mets pulled two of their top prospects, Fernando Martinez and Phillip Humber, from their games today. Martinez was lifted after one at bat while Humber, who was the scheduled starter, was replaced by Adam Bostick. It's probably a coincidence, but those on the Mets message board are predictably jumping to conclusions and there is now a lot of buzz involving Dontrelle Willis. Eh. He is more name than numbers at this point. Assuming it's a zero sum game, I'd much rather make a run at Carlos Zambrano than the inconsistent D-Train.

The Downright Nashty Prophecies

A while back Downright Nashty scribed that frequent suspension whores, Pacman Jones and Chris Henry should form a WWF tag team. Well Nashty's look in to his Magic 8 Ball has proven somewhat prophetic as it appears that Pacman has signed with Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling (TNA). If he doesn't come out to Fat Joe's "Make it Rain", Gene Kelly's "Dancing in the Rain", or Jesus and Mary Chain's "I'm Only Happy When it Rains" there is something seriously wrong with this world.

Also kudos to a Deadspin commenter who quipped, "Isn't it T 'n A that got him into trouble in the first place."

The Bronx is Burning My Eyes and Ears

I have seen the first three episodes "The Bronx is Burning" miniseries and it is a folly on every level. Of course, I will be watching the remaining 5 episodes

Reasons I Hate "The Bronx is Burning"

1) I'm sure that I am in the minority among sports fans, but sports movies rarely work for me. Besides boxing films, which work because they frequently double as character studies of compelling individuals, I can only think of a handful of rewatchable sports movies. In baseball, you have a 25 man roster, a manager, several coaches, a GM, and an owner. It's a bit too much ground to cover (even for what amounts to a 6 hour miniseries). So you end up with very little Ron Guidry (ace of the staff), Graig Nettles, and no Sparky Lyle (a total character and 1977 Cy Young Award winner!). You can't very well tell the story of that season without those guys.

2) The team is portrayed as a bunch of complete shitheads. Fran Healy is the only person, who comes off looking good in this series. Others are portrayed as follows...
- Reggie Jackson - A completely self-absorbed asshole
- Billy Martin - An insecure drunk with Elijah Dukes's temper
- George Steinbrenner - A pompous ass
- Thurman Munson - A curmudgeonly prick, who jealously guarded his leadership role from newcomers
- Mickey Rivers - A dim-witted, jive-talkin deadbeat gambler
- Yogi Berra - A mongoloid (especially irritating, because his "stupidity" was a carefully crafted bit)

I am not saying that these characterizations are entirely untrue. However, the show is so heavy-handed in its caricaturization that it is impossible to sympathize with any of these men. I'm giving you 8 hours of my time; a little nuance is all I ask.

3) The show's attempt to tie the 1977 Yankees into the larger social context of New York City is specious at best. The Son of Sam, the blackout, and the mayoral race were coincidental with the season, not interconnected. Aware of the flimsy connections, the writers cut to shots of Steinbrenner, Martin, or Jackson reading the newspaper or watching television as these issues are being discussed. Very weak.

4) Most importantly, I hate the performances. John Turturro falls into, and out of, a Southern accent throughout the series. Billy Martin was born and raised in Northern California, but apparently that accent is not in John Turturro repertoire. It's as if Turturro knows he has to neutralize his Brooklyn accent, so he just runs with the first non-New York voice he can come up with. Next week, he might sound like a pirate, or a Pakistani, or perhaps Johnny Carson.

Somehow, the dude that plays Reggie, manages to make Jackson boring. He displays little of the cocksure swagger that made Reggie such a fun and controversial figure. I never for a second feel like I'm watching Reggie Jackson.

The guy that plays Thurman Munson has yet to change the expression on his face or the tone of his voice in the first three episodes. Unfortunately this is only a miniseries, so he can't make a run at Benjamin McKenzie's record of holding the same note for three consecutive seasons on "The O.C.". Worse still, is that the actor lacks the mass of chest hair, billowing out of the top of his jersey. That should have been a prerequisite, when casting Munson.

The show sucks and is destined to continue to suck. However I am still going to watch it, if only so I can complain about it. This can not be healthy.

Tom Glavine Nightmare

About a week ago, I had a disturbing dream involving Tom Glavine. The details are a bit fuzzy, but Glavine and I were teammates and/or close friends. Recently, Tom Glavine had been turning up with bandages all over his body. It started with a series of Band-Aids on his arms. Quickly the little Band-Aids made way for Ace Bandages that were wrapped around his arms and legs. When questioned, he had a carefully crafted excuse each time. All of his friends were deeply concerned for his well-being. We didn't know if he was hiding a severe case of hemophilia or if he was becoming a cutter.

Finally, I decided to confront him. I approached him in his basement workshop to find him placing his cheek into the path of a circular saw. The blade was very thin and he only stuck his face into it enough to tear a narrow, clean slice through his skin. The last thing I remember was Glavine turning around and looking me in the eye, as blood steadily trickled down his cheek.

It was at this point that I awoke, completely convinced that my dream had happened. I paced my house for a couple of minutes, before I came to the realization that
a) I don't know Tom Glavine
b) It's highly improbable that Tom Glavine, a 41 year old man on the brink of his 300th victory, would develop a disorder most commonly associated with 16 year old Goth chicks.

Who's More Now?

He IS Morneau!

Feeling Uninspired

I apologize for the recent lack of posts, but the last week in sports has left me uninspired. The Yankees are crushing competition like Italians on grapes (a Canadian dime to the first person to identify that reference). Yankee dominance is good for me, but bad for the blog. Worse still for this blog are corrupt referees, pit bull fighting superstars, and controversy over tainted home run records. Honestly, these stories are so beaten to death that I can't even fathom a unique angle on them. I can't stand reading about them, let alone writing about them.

Having said that, I will be back some time in the next 24 hours to share, in detail, a bizarre dream that I recently had about Tom Glavine.

Quick Thought On "Who's Now"

I finally realized what bugs me so much about ESPN's "Who's Now" segment. Not one bit of it is done tongue in cheek. The analysis for this ridiculous bracket is seemingly done in 100% complete seriousness. You need a guy like Skip Bayless in all his contrarianess arguing with a wink and a smile that Michael Phelps is "more now" than Lebron James. Instead you have Kirk Herbstreet legitimately trying to compare Vince Young's 6 wins last year against Maria Sharapova's endorsement contracts. This could have potentially been a fun, fake-serious segment (albeit it would have to be much abridged), but instead ESPN is not in on it's own joke and really seems to think that this bracket has cultural relevance.

Ok, I'm off to take the bar. Lates. (I rushed this post so sorry for grammatical errors or typos, I'll revise it later, but I just wanted to get some content up for Jimer)

Get To Know Your SYHD Blogger

We have just received footage of fellow SYHD blogger Tremont at Yankee Stadium during a recent game. Sit back and enjoy:

AssScott

Scott Olsen, you have made the leap! Before tonight, we knew you were a bit of a problem. You had had a couple of dust-ups with managers and teammates and just this week the Marlins suspended you for some vague violation of team rules. Alas, we did not have that signature disgraceful act that would place you in the Pac Man Jones/ Elijah Dukes/ Stephen Jackson/ Ron Artest echelon of sociopaths.

But today, my friend, you did it. Like Lebron in Game 5 against the Pistons, you have announced your arrival in no uncertain terms. Driving drunk, refusing to pull over, then kicking the cops. You're an inspiration.

One word of caution from your friends at SYHD. You are only 23 and are still a promising young pitcher and malefactor. However, in order for your delinquency to remain relevant, you are going to have to step it up on the field. At the very least, you must become a legitimate number two starters for teams to continue to put up with your bullshit. Make yourself absolutely indispensable and you could give me 15 more years of material.

Did He Just Say That?

Fox Baseball play by play man Matt Vasgersian just said this about Dodger reliever Jonathan Broxton:

"That Broxton is about 270 lbs, most of which is located below the belt."

Vasgersian then went on to compliment Broxton's "rear end." leaving broadcast partner Tim McCarver speechless...so well done Matt!

Mama Mia! Marbury and Italy: A Match Made in Heaven

When reading the news that Starbury planned to finish his career in Italy, my initial response was one of concern for him. I was worried that he would be unprepared for the unflattering comparisons to eggplant that he would be receiving in every visiting city. However, upon further consideration, I believe that Starbury will find Italia perfectly simpatico. When you dig beneath the surface, there are staggering similarities between Marbury and Italy.

First, both Italy and Steph peeked very early. Italy has largely been a non-factor on the world's stage, since the fall of Rome, over 1500 years ago. The only reason anybody visits the country is to see buildings that were erected many centuries ago. Likewise, when teamed with Kevin Garnett, Stephon Marbury looked like he was headed for NBA domination. With each passing year, his career becomes more disappointing.

Second, both Italy and Marbury feature a pretty weak defense. After Italy became a nation in 1861, it failed miserably in its efforts to recolonize the world. Most famously they lost a war to conquer Ethiopia (Ethiopia!). They switched sides in World War I, when they realized their allies in the Triple Alliance were about to be defeated. Then they picked up a big loss in World War II. (Why doesn't Italy get shit for joining Hitler's team?) Smartly, they have kept a pretty low profile since then.
The opposing point guard seems to average 25 points and 10 assists against the Knicks.

Like the Italians in World War II, Marbury was the third banana on a losing team. I guarantee this is the first time you've ever seen Eddy Curry and Jamal Crawford compared to Germany and Japan in an analogy.

Finally, much like Italians, Starbury doesn't make the people around him better. I grew up idolizing my Irish/English/Lebanese cousin. He probably wasn't that cool, but he was 9 years older, so to me he was the most. Then he started hanging out with the Italian kids. He adopted their way of talk, their mannerisms, and style of dress. Quickly he became an insufferable ass. His was not an isolated case. On the whole, I am probably a lesser person for my association with Italians.
Likewise, players never develop with Marbury running the point. In fact, every team he has left improved dramatically upon his departure.

If eHarmony matched people with nations, Steph and Italy would be doing a testimonial on their commercial.

(Any unfair oversimplifications of history or sweeping generalizations about Italians are done for the benefit of the analogy. In other words, calm down all you Salvatores and Josephines. Wipe off the pasta fagioli that you just threw at your monitor. I was kidding...sort of.)

There Goes My Birthday Present

According to Darren Rovell, Ookie has gone the way of Ron Mexico as far as personalized jerseys are concerned. Like they did with Ron Mexico requests, the NFL is not allowing people to personalize their blank Falcons #7 jersey with Ookie. All those who wanted to be hip and ironic or just an asshole will now have to find new avenues to mock the former anointed one. So if you are going to get that personalized jersey it looks like you're just going to have to stick with your own last name and prepared for the inevitable incidents of mockery such as: "(Insert team starting QB) sucks! They should put in Levenbaum!" or "Everybody look, Levenbaum is standing right there, lets get his autograph."

Apologies to reader Ziggy Schaffer who in middle school put his last name on the back of every jersey he owned.

Happy Birthday

SYHD wants to wish a very happy birthday to contributor Johnny Dakota. Have fun living it up tonight, which means nursing 2 1/4 rum and diets over a four hour period and throwing peach schnapps shots over your shoulder. Ba zing!!! But hey you have a 1pm tee time tomorrow, so we understand.

Not Only Does He Win BCS Titles....

But Urban Meyer also makes hot daughters (she's the one on the left). Please follow this link for more pics. I don't know if she's street legal, but I know what I'd like to do with my Oscar Meyer. Urban really needs to start taking her out on the recruiting trail- Let's see a 5 star recruit say no to that face.

(Thanks to the Big Lead)

Maybe He's the Vick-tim

We've had "Free Mandela", "Free Huey", "Free Mumia", "Free Mike Tyson", and "Don't Squeeze the Juice", so it's only logical that we now have "Free Ookie". Now this is a cause I can really get behind as long as I'm in a Fantasy Football League that gives quarterbacks more points for rushing tds than passing tds.

(Credit to Kissing Suzy Kolber for carpe diem)

On Behalf of Pit Bulls Everywhere

The Pit Bull community's response to the Michael Vick indictment and its shockingly gruesome factual basis was swift, strong, and to the point. But more importantly, how did that woman get that dog to shit on cue?

A True Epiphany

Last night I was at a friend's house and we had debate about clutchness of baseball players and how certain players are overvalued due to their perceived clutchness when in fact their numbers in "clutch" situations are not appreciably better than their stats in non-clutch situations. Please check out this FJM article for better articulation on the subject. Predictably, David Eckstein's name came up in conversation as a player who is continually overvalued because he is thought of as clutch and gritty. On my way home it hit me- like a lightning bolt of wit reigning down from Mount Olympus (channeling my inner Woody Paige) - David Eckstein shall now be referred to as David Husslehoff. It works on so many levels of mockery- I could barely contain my excitement and shot off a quick email to the Fire Joe Morgan guys urging them to use the nickname in a future article. If it gets a mention, I will feel more validated than I ever have in my entire life.

Duality of Man(agers)

(Disclaimer: I'm ninety percent sure that I'm completely ripping this concept from somebody at Baseball Prospectus or The Hardball Times or Baseball Analysts or Rob Neyer or perhaps Steven Goldman. If you have read this before, let me know where and will give appropriate credit.)

Managing a baseball team involves two distinct and equally important skill sets. First, a manager must be able to strategically manage the game. He must know how to properly handle a bullpen, be able to weigh the benefits of the sacrifice bunt with the opportunity cost, know to properly exploit platoon splits, and optimally construct his lineup.

Second, a manager must be able to maintain a happy and productive work environment for his players. He must be able to settle in-fights, protect his players from media scrutiny, and know when a struggling player needs a kick in the ass or an arm around the shoulder.

A manager must be a master strategist and a leader of men. Perhaps that is too much to ask of one man. Maybe some day, a risk-taking organization will attempt to divide the manager position in two. Why not hire some egghead stratomatic champion to make on field decisions? Then you could hire some scrappy overachieving ex-ballplayer to motivate the players. He could also give the SABR geek the benefit of his experience on the field, advising him when a pitcher has nothing or where to position his fielders.

It would take two flexible men to fill these positions. Each would have to put his ego aside and cooperate. A guy like Lou Piniella would never be able to handle it. But after watching Joe Torre do his best to piss away this season, I would love to see the Yankees give it a chance.

Racist, No. Incompetent, Yes.

Imagine the San Antonio Spurs relegating Manu Ginobili to the D-League and only playing Tony Parker in garbage time. In their stead, the Spurs chose to give their minutes to Beno Udrih and Michael Finley's corpse. This would never happen, because RC Buford and Gregg Popovich are a competent general manager/coach tandem.

The fanciful scenario discussed above is analogous to Cashman and Torre's mismanagement of the Yankees bullpen. I won't waste your time further rehashing a point that I already made, when I posited that Chris Britton and Edwar Ramirez are the 2nd and 3rd best relievers in the Yankees organization.

Since then, Cashman has done half of his job, by promoting Edwar Ramirez on July 1st. Joe Torre has used him twice in his 16 days on the roster. Meanwhile, Luis Vizcaino has appeared in 8 games in the month of July. Scott Proctor has pitched 7 times and Farnsworth has been called upon 6 times, over the same period. Joe Torre has not seen fit to use Edwar Ramirez at all, since July 6th. If he pitches tomorrow, he will be doing so on 11 days rest. Nothing says "You're a valued member of the team" like nearly two weeks of inactivity.

You would think Ramirez must have gotten bombed in his two appearances for him to be so deeply buried. It is not so. In fact, in his first outing, he struck out the side in his only inning of work. Both Michael Cuddyer and Justin Morneau were victimized by his unhittable change-up. Watching Ramirez's Major League debut, I was all but certain that the Yankees had the answer to their eighth inning woes. In his next outing, Ramirez gave up a walk, a hit, and a run (Gasp!!!) in an inning and a third and hasn't been heard from since.

Joe Torre has no faith in Ramirez, because
a) he is not yet 30 years old (Joe loves him some grizzled relievers),
b) he has not scene him pitch in a big spot (Joseph Heller wrote farcical books about such situations)
c) Ramirez wasn't labelled a "blue chip" prospect
and possibly
d) he looks like a dork.
None of the above are valid reasons not to give the guy an opportunity. Well, maybe the dork thing is a good reason. Nobody likes dorks.

Yesterday I stated that I didn't believe Joe Torre was a racist. I still don't. But if it will get him fired, I am willing to start the rumor that I overheard him muttering "the n word" under his breath, as he passed a group of break dancers in Penn Station.

Mixed Feelings

Comic/actor Kevin James, who is an avid Mets and Jets fan, has named his second daughter Shea in honor of the soon to be torn down Shea Stadium(thanks to The Big Lead for throwing up the link). Part of me loves this and loves Kevin James (in a strictly nonsexual way) for doing it. It's always nice to see a B+ list star support my favorite teams in such a public way, but should the name Shea be off limits for Mets fans. Here's the thing- Chipper Jones, who is hitting something like .750 lifetime at Shea, also named his kid after the blue-ish purple-ish ballpark a few years back. Why? Mainly because LAAAAAAAARY had always raked in Flushing and the Braves of the late 1990's/early 2000's made the Mets their personal bitch almost every year. Thus Jones basically flipped the bird to every Met fan by naming his baby girl Shea, so shouldn't a true die hard shun the name Shea? I mean what Met head would want his kid to share a name with one of Jones' legitimized children? At the same time, if the name Shea were to go the way of Adolf, wouldn't that really be letting the enemy win? By James naming his daughter Shea, he has signaled to Mets fans that it's alright to name their children after their (and my) beloved eyesore, thus hopefully diluting the impact of Jones' baby naming choice. Hopefully James does not name his next daughter Meadowlands

A Half-Hearted Defense of a Bumbling Old Fool

Joe Torre does seem to have an aversion to a particular race...This year's pennant race!!! Bah-dum-bum!

After 27 years as a manager, I have to hear that Torre is a racist from somebody other than a chronic malcontent (Sheffield) and a mercenary that has played on nine teams since 9/11 (Lofton).

Thanks a lot, Gary Sheffield, for making me defend a man, whose life I selfishly wish would end.