Anything to Avoid Discussing the Yankees

Isn't the phrase "Medal of Honor" redundant? Adding the words "of Honor" to "Medal" sheds no additional light on the nature of the accomplishment being celebrated. By definition, medals are given to honor something. It's just a bad name for a noble award.

This Made Me Surprisingly Happy

I often like to check our site meter to see who is visiting our site and how they found it. Today someone found SYHD by typing "Jared Jeffries sucks" into Google. This makes me happy on two levels. First, I'm glad that our blog comes up second for that search term. Secondly, it's very validating to see that other people in this world realize the inherent taint sucking that is Jared Jeffries.

Don't Mess With New Jack

I recently stumbled across this fantastic site called Wrestling Gone Wrong. It's chock full of wrestlers blowing spots and promos as well as announcing and production gaffes. It also features a wrestler named New Jack literally almost killing four different people and purposely breaking the leg of a fifth. I suggest you watch the following clips with sound for the full effect as well as New Jack's commentary on a few of the incidents. I know there are a lot of clips, but I you will need to click on all of them to get a full perspective of the utter insanity that is New Jack.

The first two clips involve a feud New Jack had with Vic Grimes. This first video documents Grimes blowing a spot off of a 20 foot balcony causing both New Jack and Grimes to fall awkwardly off the balcony. The 300+ lbs Grimes landed on New Jack's head causing New Jack nerve damage and permanent blindness in his right eye.

This obviously didn't sit well with the psychotic New Jack. The two would meet a little over a year later in a scaffold match. While up on the 40 ft scaffold, New Jack tasered Grimes and proceeded to toss him off said scaffold with the intent to kill him. In the commentary a remorseless New Jack openly admits that he wanted to kill Grimes by throwing him onto the ring post. Grimes narrowly missed the post and came out of the ugly looking spill with only a dislocated ankle and some other minor injuries. Click here for the clip of that incident.

Despite an attempted murder, New Jack continued to get booked in indie federations across the country, thus affording him the opportunity to try to kill other wrestlers. In this next clip, New Jack legitimately beats on a 70 yr old local wrestler and crowd favorite Gypsy Joe with a chain and bat wrapped in barbed wire amongst other weapons. But that's not all. Let's watch New Jack stab his opponent 14 times with a shiv.

In this clip New Jack decides to teach Chad Austin, a wrestler who was unpopular in the locker room, a lesson by breaking his leg via multiple steel chair shots. Oh, and did I mention he was sued for blading this guy and rupturing two arteries in his forehead.

Needless to say New Jack is the coolest wrestler of all time.

Eastern Conference Preview

First a follow up to the Western Conference preview.
1) The top 6 teams in the West are head and shoulders above the rest of the conference. The depth isn't as good as it once was.
2) The Northwest Division may have the 3 worst teams in the NBA this year.
3) A damn shame about that Greg Oden

Eastern Conference Playoff Teams (Seeded 1-8)
1) Chicago (w/ or w/o Kobe)- They win the Eastern Conference as currently constituted. If they land Kobe and keep Deng, they become my favorite to win it all.
2) Boston- Celtics have the best big 3 of any team since Bird/McHale/Parrish and Magic/Kareem/Worthy. The only problem is that their supporting cast might be too young to bring home a Championship this year. They'll win it all in '08-'09.
3) Cleveland- Still not enough help for Lebron.
4) Washington- They aren't as good as Detroit or NJ, but division winners have to have a top 4 seed.
5) Detroit- Too boring to write about.
6) New Jersey- They should be a fixture in the 4-8 seeds for the next 3 years. Too good to miss the playoffs, but very little upside.
7) Toronto- Bosh, an improving Bargnani, and a bunch of useful scrappers with little upside. A good team that will never be great.
8) Orlando- Dwight Howard asserts himself as the best center in the NBA this season. The rest of the team remains uninspiring.

The Rest
9) New York
10) Miami- Shaq isn't Shaq anymore. D-Wade is hurt. The supporting cast stinks.
11) Charlotte
12) Atlanta
13) Milwaukee
14) Philadelphia
15) Indiana

A couple more points on the Eastern Conference
1) The depth in the East is pretty impressive. If any of the top 13 teams made the playoffs, it wouldn't knock my socks off.
2) I shocked myself when I ranked the Pacers the worst team in the East. They have been so good for so long. After Jermaine O'Neal, though, they have NOTHING!

Western Conference Preview

Western Conference Playoff Teams (Seeded 1-8)

1) Phoenix- If the Suns are ever going to win a Championship this is going to be the year. Stoudemire is another year removed from surgery. Diaw and Barbosa are just about entering their primes. If he can stay healthy, Grant Hill will be able to give them 25 quality minutes a night. Mike D'Antoni's 'stache has never looked better. Marion being unhappy is a non-story. He's been miserable for years. He's also been an All-Star caliber player. If Nash can stay healthy all season, this is the best team in the league.


2) Utah- The Jazz appear poised to make another 5 year "close but no cigar run" at an NBA Championship. Deron Williams is a terrific point guard on the upswing. Ronnie Brewer has been lighting it up in the pre-season. Their front court rotation, with Okur, Boozer, Kirilenko, and Millsap, have skills that compliment one another perfectly. They have great depth, but they lack a Top 10 player. The 03-04 Pistons were the only team that has won a champion without a Hall of Fame player in my lifetime (perhaps ever?). Utah is up against some seriously long odds to win a title.


3) Dallas- It's tough to take this group seriously as a title contender, but they are still a regular season juggernaut.


4) Houston- After the Suns I think this Rockets team has the biggest upside of any team in the West. If Luis Scola is as good as everyone thinks he is, nobody will be better at the 2 through 5
positions. Obviously Yao and McGrady haven't won a playoff series yet. They will win somewhere between one and four this year.

5) Denver- Once again they'll be a whole lot of fun. Their shitty perimeter defense will prevent them from being a serious Championship threat.


6) San Antonio- Perhaps this is a bit of wishful thinking. Here is my case: Tony Parker is the only player in the Spurs rotation that is in his 20s. This is the year that age finally catches up with the Spurs. R.C. Buford and Coach Popovich have done a great job for this team, but they are starting to push their luck with some really old veterans. If they can milk another championship out of this club, it will have been worth it, but they are about 2 seasons away from a really ugly situation in San Antonio.

7) New Orleans- Chris Paul gets into the playoffs this year. He'll easily have the most pinchable cheeks in the postseason.


8) Golden State- Unfortunately I can't see this team building on last year's success. I think Nelly maxed out this roster out last year. I would be more surprised to see them crack the Top 6 of the Western Conference than to see them fall to 11 or 12.

Western Conference Champions- Phoenix Suns

(This is based on the assumption that the Lakers trade Kobe Bryant. If he stays in LA the Lakers take the 7th seed and Golden State misses the playoffs.)

9) Sacramento
10) Memphis
11) LA Clippers
12) LA Lakers
13) Portland
14) Seattle
15) Minnesota

The Mighty SEC

Combined record of SEC teams vs. other BCS conference teams:

5-5

SEC road record vs. BCS conference teams:

1-3 (Lone win against North Carolina. You just don't go into the Hell's Den that is Chapel Hill and expect to come out with a victory.)


*I make no claim to the validity of these statistics. Please double check the records if you care to.*

Write it Down (And Ignore it if it's Wrong)

The Yankees will go 87-75 in 2008. When Wallace Matthews and Mike Lupica recap next season's failure, they will focus on the absence of Joe Torre. A-Rod's absence will only be mentioned in passing.

The Cave of Caerbonnog

This World Series reminds me a bit of a scene near the end of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". On his quest for the Holy Grail, King Arthur must cross through the cave of Caerbonnog. He is warned that it is guarded "by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought it and lived." When they reach the cave, he is relieved to find out that this supposedly foul creature is a little rabbit.

The Red Sox play the part of King Arthur and his knights. The Rockies (and their 21 wins in 22 games against some of the best teams in the NL) play the part of the rabbit. For the purpose of the analogy, I am asking you to forget the fact that the Rabbit of Caerbonnog was actually bad-ass. I guess that makes my comparison pretty shitty. Deal with it, dickweeds!

Eight Overrated Ladies of the Eighties (#6)

6) Jackee- There is no accounting for taste. This cliche applies twenty-fold for African Americans. The successes of Tyler Perry and Soulja Boy are testament to that fact. That is the only explanation I can offer for Jackee's '80s sex symbol status.

White readers, don't feel guilty for chuckling at this post. I am well-known for (in so far as I am well-known for anything) my fascination with black chicks. It was once said that I have "an insatiable lust for ebony women". So when I say that Jackee was very average looking, I am speaking from a position of strength.

She certainly wasn't a bad looking woman. However I can't understand why, on 227, every man that came within shouting distance of Jackee would instantly become smitten. Many would turn into stuttering fools in her presence. The most eligible black bachelors in Washington tripped over one another in pursuit of her. Give me a break. Sure she had a nice rack. She also gave off the vibe that she was an easy lay. Ultimately, though when it came to business time, I seem to remember Jackee being a total prude.

She was a totally doable broad, but there was no reason for anyone to go gaga over her.

Go Sox Go! Sort of.

Occasional SYHD contributor Nocedog recently texted me with a rather astute observation. He wrote "Your AL/NL obsession is forcing you to be happy the Sox are routing the Rockies". There is an element of truth in this statement. I always root for the American League team in the World Series, only to a far lesser degree when it is the hated Red Sox. This is why I can't buy into the outrage over Rudy Giuliani backing Boston in the World Series.

"Somehow it makes me feel better if the team that was ahead of the Yankees wins the World Series," Giuliani said, justifying his support of the Red Sox, "because then I feel like, well, we're not that bad."

The media is portraying this as an act of high treason, but I don't see it. I have always had the same attitude toward the clubs that beat my team. When the Red Sox stampede the Rockies, it helps make the case that the Yankees would have drubbed them as well.

Besides, I am having a really hard time getting it up to hate the Red Sox nowadays. Manny has completely won me over. I have grown to love everything about the goofy fuck. Big Papi is an undisputedly cool guy. Francona is even more likeable than Joe Torre ever was. The only things that I really still hate about the Red Sox are Curt Schilling, Larry Lucchino, and the Red Sox fans themselves.

So Rudy and I will be tepidly hoping that the Sox sweep the Rockies tonight and I don't think it makes us any less of Yankees' fans.

Stating the Obvious

The SEC teams continue to pick each other off, because they are all good. The Big East teams keep picking each other off, because they all stink.

A Strained Goodfellas Reference Explaining My Lack of Productivity

There was this man. He would never blog. He would just sit there all night.

They'd say to him "What's the matter Tremont? Don't you write anything?"

He said "What am I going to write, that my baseball team is 4-13 in their last 17 playoff games and my football team is 1-6?"

So they'd say "Shut up, you're always blogging." But in Italian it sounds so much nicer.

This is Why I Went to Law School

Every time I regret becoming an attorney a story like this comes along and reminds me of why I got into this most noble of professions. It seems that an attorney in Wisconsin was accused of violating the state rule prohibiting a lawyer from having sex with his client. This is a pretty standard situation. The facts, however, make this inappropriate tryst interestingly unique. The lawyer, a man, and his client, a man, were actually engaging in partnered coital activity with the client's girlfriend at the same time. So, while they were not having sex with each other, they were having sex "with" each other. If that makes sense. To read more about this click here.

Little Move May Have Big Impact

Earlier today, the Knicks cut Demetris Nichols, the best shooter on their roster. Nichols was a 2nd round pick this year acquired from Portland on draft night. He had a nice career at Syracuse and a very strong summer league campaing, in which he shot roughly 40% from three point range. He did not see much time this preseason, but last night he scored 10 points in five minutes of play. He sunk two long three pointers and was fouled during a third attempt from beyond the arc. He also drew a foul while making an agressive take to the hole.

Nichols gave the Knicks the one dimension that they sorely lack- a pure perimeter shooter. Quentin Richard shoots a lot of three's, but he's not a great shooter. Jamal Crawford is a chucker, who will have great shooting nights and horrible shooting nights. Marbury doesn't shoot as much from long distance as he used to. With Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry giving the team two legit low post scoring threats, you would think the Knicks would fall all over themselves in an effort to acquire an outside marksmen? Right? Wrong! Instead of keeping Nichols on the team, the Knicks had to use roster spots on complete wastes of sperm like Jared Jeffries and Jerome James. Your respective mothers should have swallowed you. Well done Isiah.

The Friday Six-Pack (Cocktail edition)

Intro: 50% on the season, 4-0 on the Roper. When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the bar room wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." I swear I am 85% on games I don’t write about.

The Helen Roper
Minnesota at Michigan (-23.5)

Classic strengths versus weakness game. Minnesota gives the ball away, Michigan takes it. Michigan’s defense forces nearly four turnovers per game and has caused more fumbles than any D in the country. Big house meet turnover prone Freshman QB. On the other side of the ball, the Gophers have the worst pass defense in the country and have decided that starting 3 new freshmen in the secondary this week will make things better. Congratulations Chad Henne, you will now be a first day draft pick again.

The Pick: Michigan 48, Minnesota 10

The Lady Bowerbird
West Virginia (-6.5) at Rutgers

WVU’s offense is quietly hitting on all cylinders, while Rutgers’ offense gets progressively more exposed as one dimensional each week. WVU’s depth at running back has left Slaton and White with fresh legs, while Ray Rice may start to feel the effects of all of those 30+ carry games. The Rutgers defense is not the same unit it was last year. I would love to be in the stands to see the interaction between bumpkin Mountaineer fan and slimeball Rutgers fan this week.

The Pick: West Virginia covers.

Florida International (+40) at Arkansas

I don’t care how bad FIU is, when you are getting this many points this late in the season, you have to take ‘em. Arky probably won’t keep McFadden and Jones in the game for long with USCe, Tenn, Miss. St and LSU coming up over the next month. Take FIU and all of those points.

The Hymen
Duke (+17.5) at FSU- At this point, would it surprise you if Duke beat FSU? Me neither, I’ll take the Dukies to stay within spread.

UCLA (-6) at Washington State- San Diego State (without Marshall Faulk or Dan McGwire) and Idaho (without Mark Schlereth or John Friez). Those are the only two teams Wazzou has beaten this season. UCLA covers.

Clemson (-3.5) at Maryland- Spiller is too good of a player to go this long without a breakout game. He gets it this week against a Maryland team that has been involved in 4 dogfights over the last month. Clemson covers.

The 4 horsemen of the apocalypse
Arizona at Washington (-3.5)- Got a good feeling about this game, but didn’t feel like researching why. Locker’s continued development encourages me. Washington wins big.

South Florida (-4.5) at Connecticut- Speed, Depth and Athleticism too much for team that gets by purely on discipline and player positioning. USF covers.

Virginia (-3) at NC State- Virginia wins by more than one this week. More than 3 actually.

New Mexico at Hawaii (-28)- Paging Colt Brennan. Tim Tebow called you a pussy. Hawaii covers.

Outro: Jets and the Skins this week in the NFL. Ever since I bet Jack Burton straight up in a game of cutthroat canasta, I'm driving the Pork Chop Express. 5-2 that's a half ass 10-4, over.

To Steal A Bit From Sports Illustrated

This Week's Sign that the Apocalypse is Upon Is:

Today's Newsday devoted an entire page of its sports section to a High School Field Hockey Insider article.

For those who don't know, Newsday is not some podunk rag whose sports section is entirely made up of one downtrodden, overweight, middle aged man who wears a fanny pack and a hat that says "Press" and who may or may not be named A. Anthony Miller. No, Newsday has the largest circulation on Long Island, which is pretty impressive because Long Island is densely populated (unfortunately). So in the midst of the World Series, Jets and Giants Football, the upcoming NBA season, and impending Yankee managerial decision, they decide to devote several hundred words to girls' field hockey- a more boring, less athletic and exciting version of real hockey (which is really saying something). And the article is not just any article, it's the INSIDER! I can't believe they got those Belichick-esque tight-lipped field hockey coaches to reveal such classified information. Oh wait it's just a puff piece? Why the hell call it INSIDER then? Seriously, stop patronizing your readership. No one cares about field hockey except for maybe the couple of hundred girls that play field hockey and their parents. And I'm sure the parents don't even care that much, nor do the fat girls that are only on the roster because there are no cuts and their parents made them do something active. So only a small percentage of people actually closely involved in field hockey probably care enough about the sport to read the article. Normally I'm all for conspicuous consumption, but did a tree really have to die for this? What "sport" is next week's Insider going to cover? Men's gymnastics? Colorguard? Whitman 5th period gym European Handball?


But because Wallace Matthews penned an article today, the Field Hockey Insider was only the second most unreadable article in the sports section.

Dave Wanstedt Must Be Crushed

The Worst Football Coach in the Universe.

The Perfect Season

Will the 2007 Dolphins pop champagne and smoke cigars next year and beyond when the last winless team gets their first victory?

Jacksonville Citizens Like Eating Out

Jacksonville residents are often categorized as classless whitetrash. I'm here to say that portrayal is unfair...oh wait...nevermind:



Looking forward to hearing our very own Jacksonvillian Charlie Hustle's take on this. I'm assuming this is one of the attorneys in his firm.

(Hat tip to Awful Announcing)

Tirico Suave

Coming out of halftime of tonight's match up, Mike Tirico said that Jacksonville was going to have to "flip the script" to get back into the game. A solid 8.5 on the vicarious embarrassment scale. What's a perfect ten? Glad you asked:

Be My Valentine

Today Hank Steinbrenner shot down rumors that Bobby Valentine was on the Yankees' short list of managerial candidates. This is a little disappointing, as I had just warmed to the notion that Bobby V was the man for the job.

He did an underrated job managing the Mets from '96 to '02. During that stretch he received reliable production from 2 positions on the diamond; catcher and wherever Edgardo Alfonzo played. His outfields were a revolving door of aging veteran mediocrities and youngsters destined for three years. He slopped together half-way decent pitching staffs out of some seriously mediocre arms. Take a look at that 2000 roster. In retrospect, did that squad have any business being in the World Series?

Valentine was basically done in by Mo Vaughn and Roberto Alomar immediately turning from perennial All-Stars to has-beens the moment they modelled those hideous orange and blue jerseys at their press conferences. They won only 75 games in 2002, Valentine's last season with the Mets. They wouldn't win that many games again for another 3 years. Obviously Bobby V. was not the problem.

For what it's worth, he has already proven he can handle the pressures of New York. I think this aspect of the job is a bit overblown. It sounds like the New York fans media jerking themselves off. However, I'll admit that managing a team in NYC is probably marginally harder than managing the same team in St. Louis.

Bobby Valentine may be a bit of an arrogant ass, but the guy can clearly manage. He should at least be part of the discussion for the Yankees' managing job, if for no other reason than to see that fake 'stache again.

Regrettable Statement of the Weekend

"Tarvaris Jackson isn't as bad as everyone thinks he is. Plus, the Vikings are just going to feed the ball to Adrian Peterson all day today." -Me convincing a friend that betting on Minnesota against Dallas was a good idea.

(Tarvaris Jackson went 6-19 for 72 yards)
(Adrian Peterson only rushed the ball 12 times. He averaged 5.3 yards a carry)

Mid-Morning Wrestling Haiku

Foley/Johnson and
This year's World Series are Rock
and Sock connections.

Sour Grapes

The Indians had a 3-1 lead on Red Sox. The Red Sox charged back and won the series 4-3. The Indians also had a 3-1 lead on the Yankees. Unfortunately the Yankees did not have the opportunity to make the unlikely comeback, as the first round is a best of 5.

Eight Overrated Ladies from the Eighties (#7)

7) The Hemingway Sisters- Mariel is a handsome devil. That strong jaw line; those intense, beady blue eyes. A fella like that will make a man reconsider his sexuality. What's that? He's a she? Wheww! I really dodged that rainbow colored bullet. Now if you tell me Rob Lowe is a chick, I can reclaim my unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality.

I can't figure out what anybody ever saw in Mariel Hemingway. Besides her mannish features, she is very awkward. Mariel seems completely uncomfortable on camera. She has always looked like she just found out about her sister's suicide. Margeaux, the aforementioned sister who did the right thing, looked a bit more feminine, but was also wildly overrated.

Brooke Shields is not on this list, because her Y chromosome didn't become evident until the '90s. For most of the '80s, she was legimitately attractive.

Confession: I overplayed my whole "Mariel Hemingway is a dude" hand here. She doesn't look THAT bad. However, part of me is hoping that she googles her name on a daily basis and finds this post. Perhaps she is on the verge of offing herself and some harsh words from an obscure blog will be the straw that broke the camel's back. I would be proud to be the guy that turned the Hemingways into the mainstream Von Erichs.

(Ernest Hemingway sucked ass as writer as well. You're a worldly author and a rugged everyman. We get it.)

Nightly Wrestling Haiku

Desperation is

Defined as "David Arquette

As Heavyweight Champ"

The No Spin Zone

I have always enjoyed watching Tim Wakefield pitch. The knuckle ball fascinates me because even though I once struck out four times in a whiffle ball game I feel fairly certain that I could go 3-4 against Wakefield while professional baseball players often look silly batting against him. Wakefield has no doubt been a successful MLB pitcher. He has a career record of 168-146 with a lifetime era of 4.33. It always seems to me though, that it is pretty much a crap shoot any time he takes the mound. He basically just calmly chucks a 65 mph knuckler towards the plate and hopes that God makes it do funny things.

Looking closely at Wakefield's numbers, it appears that he is the most average pitcher in the history of MLB. Here is why. Wakefield has started over 29 games 6 times in his career. 5 of those 6 years his winning percentage closely mirrors his team's overall winning percentage. Here are the respective winning percentages

Wakefield Team
1996 .519 .525
1997 .444 .481
1998 .680 .568
2003 .611 .586
2004 .545 .605
2007 .586 .593

What these numbers mean to me is that mastering the knuckle ball makes you like a glass of water in the pH scale of major league pitchers. Basically, you are at the mercy of the skill of the rest of your team. This is not necessarily a bad thing, especially if your team is as successful as the Red Sox have been over the past decade.

Trojan Plane Scare

The airplane carrying the USC Trojan football team nearly crashed on its way to South Bend for Saturday's game against Notre Dame. The AP link is here. Umm, perhaps we should all start being a little bit nicer to Tremont.

The Friday Six Pack (Hofbrahaus Edition)

Intro: Lets find out if we have learned anything from this season. So far the only thing I am costing you is the juice to bet, as I am exactly 15-15 on the year.

The Helen Roper

USC (-18) at Notre Dame

I’m not ready to bring Notre Dame within 18 points of USC despite the efforts from either team over the past two weeks. Although USC has the chemistry and accountability of a band of gypsies, they should have no problem getting up for Notre Dame. Look for Mark “Dirty” Sanchez to replace Booty, who has a broken finger on his throwing hand. Sanchez has yet to indicate that he has a talent beyond painting fecal pencil thins, but on its worst day, the USC offense is light years ahead of Notre Dame’s in talent and efficiency. Count on a pressure enduced pick-6 from Sharpley and a cameo from the chic Jimmy Clausen. For the casual viewers out there, watch the disparity in line play on these two teams.

The Pick: USC 38-7

The Lady Bowerbird

Michigan at Illinois (+2.5)

Kudos to you Zooker, you have made it to a prime time game that means something. Illinois' offense and style of play revives memories of early September demons for the Wolverines. Don't be sold on Michigan as a rock of stability. If Illinois' athletes go off early, Michigan's fragile psyche will take a hit. Especially if they do not have a healthy Mike Hart to bail them out as he has in recent games. A hobled Hart will keep that defense on the field a little more, which may have Juice Williams and Rashard Mendenhall looking "Hot, Hot, HOT!" If this isnt a "see what you are made of game," I don't know what is. Oh god I can't believe I am doing this. I cant be...can I?

The Pick: Illinois 27-17

NC State at East Carolina (-5.5)

I didn't think it was possible to be worse than Duke, but NC State has proven me wrong. This team is pitiful. It doesn't help that they are playing with their 3rd string RB and 2nd string QB. Remember how bad you performed when you had to call in the second and third string honkey tonk specials at 2:30am? NCSU will be Tommy Cheeseballs this week.

O'Brien has to be kicking himself in the ass right about now.

The Pick: ECU 24-10

The Hymen

Oregon (-11) at Washington- Time to get on the Duck bandwagon. Oregon showed me alot last week by bouncing back from the Cal loss to thrash Wazzou. Key injuries on offense means this team will lean on Dixon and Stewart more this week, which is a good thing. Kige Ramsey would say "Oregon will win because they have a good QB and RB. I also like their uniforms." Oregon covers.

Texas Tech (+3.5) at Mizzou- First to 50 wins. If you drink milk while looking at the Texas Tech QB's passing yards thru 7 games, it will likely come out of your nose. Even considering future games with Texas and Oklahoma expect Harrell to throw for nearly 60 TDs and/or 6000 yards. Currently thru 7 games... 3150 yards... 31 TDs... 3 INTs... and only 1 game below 420 yards so far. Yep, you are correct if you said to yourself "that's 11 more TDs than Colt Brennan, with less than a third the INTs!" I just get the feeling in this one that Mizzou is relying too much on one player, while TT is doing it with system. Take TT on the road. This team is poised to make a run. Graham Harrell on the base drum, Graham Harrell on the base drum...tah tah.

Miami at FSU- This game went from GAME OF THE CENTURY, to GAME OF THE YEAR, to GAME OF THE WEEK, to what it is now....POTENTIALLY THE GAME OF THE TIME SLOT IN YOUR REGION. These two programs are a joke. I refuse to pick a winner in this game, as I root for debilitating injury or better yet death for each player, student, school official, or alumnus for both schools every week. Take the under, which is generously listed at 41pts. Look for a 7-6 game going into the 4th quarter with a late mistake making the difference either way.

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Florida (-7) at Kentucky- UF wins and covers.
Iowa at Purdue (-7)- Iowa=offense redacted. Purdue covers at home.
Michigan State (+17) at Ohio State- All the trends and logic points to OSU to cover. That is why I am taking MSU, and that is why I call it the Sparty Rule.
Tennessee at Alabama (PK)- Alabama has been within a handful of plays away from a five-game losing streak, and it shows in its recent 0-5 ATS mark. I’ll take the Vols even if they’re laying a point or two come kickoff.

The Outro: You know its a weird year when I have more NFL betting success than College Football. A strong tease this week would be Skins, Saints, 49ers and Lions. Lions would be my NFL Roper.

I haven't watched a combined inning of baseball all year long and I am damn proud of it.

USF-Rutgers Analysis

-I know he's an upperclassman, but boy did Teel look green tonight.

-It's hard to judge Ito after one performance, but he looks like he could be a NFL kicker.

Thank you. Thank you. Remember to tip your waitress. Goodnight!